No, you people don’t like fun, you like to be miserable, it’s your bit. by Anonymous Ah, it’s that lovely time of year when Seattle’s inferiority complex rears its ugly head in the form of the ridiculously stubborn “no umbrella” attitude. Listen, I’ve lived in this city for almost 30 years, and I love it (I won’t say where I came from lest I trigger that inferiority complex again), but you people are such martyrs. You’re willing to get sopping wet and miserable just to dig your heels in on this asinine stance that literally no other rainy place on earth takes. Even the Brits keep calm and use a bloody umbrella, you twats. They also have a cute name for them: Brollies. Would it make you use one if we agreed to call them that? No, you people don’t like fun, you like to be miserable, it’s your bit. Get over yourselves! There’s a reason umbrellas were invented! No amount of overpriced, outdoor-chic REI gear is going to keep you from looking like a fool just so you can feel superior to the "weaklings” using umbrellas (read: people who don’t have insecurity issues). Do you need to get something off your chest? Submit an I, Anonymous and we'll illustrate it! Send your unsigned rant, love letter, confession, or accusation to [email protected]. Please remember to change the names of the innocent and the guilty.