Podcasts, columns, and more at Savage.Love. by Dan Savage I am a 28-year-old cisgender sex-repulsed asexual gay man. While some asexuals choose to have sex for the pleasure it provides their partner, sex-repulsed asexuals like me do not engage in sexual activity and do not wish to be exposed to it. As a sex-repulsed asexual gay man, I feel alienated when I enter gay spaces like bars, parties, clubs. Gay allosexuals don’t seem to be aware that hypersexualized spaces make asexual men like me feel unsafe and unwanted. We are forced to choose between being isolated or entering spaces where other gay men are kissing, grinding, or worse. Also, bartenders are often shirtless, there are go-go dancers, and even the posters on the walls feature sexually explicit imagery. When gay sex is foregrounded like this it makes gay men like me feel like we are not welcome in the gay community. And to answer the obvious question: I go… [ Read more ]