“Pardon me, sir, but I’d like to cram down a big ugly before Triple Witching Day. (Image: Getty) By Steve Dinnen I’m not certain how we got on the topic, but before I bought some Nike shares, I mentioned to my editor that I was contemplating buying a stock that could be a dead-cat bounce. “S ay what?” he asked. I actually like cats. But some Wall Street wag came up with this memorable way to describe a stock that has fallen sharply and then stages a temporary rebound. The idea is that even a dead cat would bounce if it fell from a tall enough building. The investment world is peppered with specialized terms like this. Some are bizarre, some obtuse, some almost meaningless. Here are just a few of the thousands: Bips. A basis point, or one-hundredth of a percentage point. Investment fees are often expressed in bips: 100 basis points equals 1%. Lower is better. Big ugly. A large, established company or stock that’s fallen out of favor. Think of Big Tobacco. Cram down. A deal in which a company’s shareholders or creditors are forced to accept terms they didn’t approve, often in a merger, bankruptcy or restructuring. Chastity bond. A bond that can be redeemed at face value if the company is targeted for a takeover. The provision is designed to make a takeover less attractive. Closed-end fund. An investment fund that issues a fixed number of shares, which then trade on a stock exchange. Unlike an open-end mutual fund, it generally doesn’t issue or redeem shares directly based on investor demand. DRIP. Dividend Reinvestment Plan. You use dividends to buy more shares of a company. Ex-dividend. The date when a stock begins trading without the right to receive its next dividend. Investors who buy the stock on or after that date generally won’t receive that dividend. Greenmail. A payment to a corporate raider trying to take over a company. Sometimes it’s called a “bon voyage bonus.” Illiquid. Not readily convertible into cash. Naked option. If you don’t own the underlying shares of an options contract, you are naked. T+1. The current standard for settling most U.S. stock trades: The transaction is completed one business day after the trade date. Triple Witching Day. The third Friday in March, June, September and December when options, index options and futures contracts expire at the same time. White knight. A friendly acquirer sought by the target of an unfriendly takeover. Zero-coupon security. A bond or other debt security that doesn’t make regular interest payments. Instead, it’s typically sold for less than its face value and pays the full face value at maturity. It’s common with municipalities. The list goes on. Barron’s Financial Guide has 716 pages of them — some you should know and many, many you don’t ever need to worry about. ...read more read less