When you go to lap swim at one of Seattle’s public pools, the lanes are broken down by speed: very easy, easy, medium, fast, and very fast. “Medium” and “fast” lanes get crowded first; “easy” and “very fast” are not as crowded. You swim in a circle in a lane with (usually) four to eight strangers for 90 minutes. I am a medium swimmer. I’ve been going regularly for three years. I swim faster than the “easy” lane and slower than the “fast” lane. Relocating to either lane when the medium lanes are full gets me frustrated looks. I am training for steady distance swimming and don’t want to bother people who are sprinting or breaststroking leisurely.  To 80 percent of my fellow “medium lane” lap swimmers: You belong in the easy lane, and that is okay. Most of you are men over 40. Many of you can’t make it 50 yards without stopping to walk in the shallow end. There’s nothing wrong with being slow or taking it easy—the pool is for you, too. It’s another thing to hold everyone else up. I know it would hurt your feelings to tell you in person that you’re slower than you think. But if I had a car horn to honk at you, this would be it. Do you need to get something off your chest? Submit an I, Anonymous, and maybe we’ll illustrate it! Send your unsigned rant, love letter, confession, or accusation to [email protected]. Please remember to change the names of the innocent and the guilty. The post Lap Dance appeared first on The Stranger. ...read more read less