When writing my book, “Real Moms of Real Saints,” I knew that I wanted to dedicate it to the moms in my life. My own mother, aunts who have mothered me since childhood and my mother-in-law were obvious choices, but there was another woman I wanted to honor, one without a biological tie to my family: Linda, my spiritual mom. Growing up, we were “Christmas and Easter Catholics.” As a result, my formation was minimal until I went away to college. Linda, a trained spiritual director, was the receptionist at my university’s Catholic Center and took me under her wing. She is, in so many ways, the woman who raised me in the Faith: She taught me how to pray, how to live my life in relationship with Jesus and how to recognize the still, small voice of the Holy Spirit. To this day, Linda is the person I run to when I need prayers, the woman whose love and witness I strive to emulate as I raise my children. She’s the woman who taught me what it means to nurture the entirety of a person. Spiritual motherhood, like I’ve experienced with Linda, has been part of the Catholic Tradition since the Crucifixion, when Our Lord gave St. John to Mary as her son and Mary to John as his mother. Spiritual moms are the women who, seeing the whole of a person, body and soul, enter into the life of others with generosity, self-sacrifice and a decidedly maternal love for those around them, regardless of biological connection. Through prayer and accompaniment, they offer healing and presence to those in need, all while serving in a variety of professions. A Common Vocation Lived Differently The Catholic Church teaches that every woman, simply by virtue of being a woman, has a call to spiritual motherhood. What’s more, the Church acknowledges that women who enter into religious life or make a vow of consecrated virginity, though renouncing marriage and physical motherhood, are able to nurture the spiritual lives of those around them more deeply and widely than those of us with kids (especially young ones). In so many ways, these women are the very beating heart of God made visible in the world, and often, they are women who will never bear children. Their motherhood is no less real, no less authentic, no less important, and yet it is most often overlooked. We can learn so much from the consecrated women in our midst. I had the opportunity recently to speak with two women who are living out spiritual motherhood within the Diocese of Fort Wayne-South Bend, one as a consecrated virgin and the other as a religious sister. The conversations I had with them left me with a deep sense of joy and gratitude for the blessing they are to the Church and the world around them. Women of Intercession It’s worth noting that just as the experience of being a physical mom is both universal and deeply personal, the spiritual motherhood of a woman religious or consecrated virgin is rooted not just in their spousal relationship with Christ but also in her individual apostolate. As a consecrated virgin within the Diocese of Fort Wayne-South Bend, Jessica Hayes is not bound to a religious order but rather to her bishop and the diocese. Practically speaking, she says her consecration means she is first and foremost a woman of prayer. Praying in union with the bishop and the Church at daily Mass and in her own home through daily recitation of the Liturgy of the Hours allows her to more easily assist others in developing their own spiritual life, an important thing in her day job as pastoral associate at St. Vincent de Paul Parish in Fort Wayne. This, for her, is the key to spiritual motherhood: She is a woman others feel comfortable entrusting their hearts to because she is a woman of prayer. When speaking of the role that prayer and intercession play in the life of a religious sister, Sister Mary Bosco of the Sisters of St. Francis of Perpetual Adoration echoed that sentiment, telling me that it is in her encounters with Christ in prayer, both alone and with the other sisters, that she receives what she needs to then go and encounter Him in the world. In her experience, it is the intertwining of the contemplative community and the works of mercy that makes spiritual motherhood fruitful. The Broad Horizons of Consecrated Love On the rare occasion that she and her (grown) siblings are all home, Sister Mary Bosco’s mom will remark, “All the chicks are in the nest.” It’s a simple statement of maternal satisfaction, one that mothers everywhere will recognize and smile at. But for Sister Mary, hearing it the last time she was home made her realize that she longed for something bigger than a family all gathered within a home: She longed to build a nest in heaven, big enough to gather all of God’s children. For her, a religious vocation means her motherhood isn’t limited to geography or biology; instead, it’s as expansive as the very love of Christ. In describing her vocation, Hayes uses similar language, explaining that “the horizons of the consecrated woman are the same as those of the love of Christ, embracing all whom the Lord loves.” Her attentiveness to Christ is what allows her to be aware of the needs of others — whether she is called to listen, to pray for or to provide practical boots-on-the-ground help for the person He has placed in front of her. Spiritual Moms Don’t Clock Out Recognizing that spiritual mothers, like physical moms, can’t clock out at 5 p.m., in addition to their day jobs and apostolates, each of the Sisters of St. Francis takes a turn getting up in the middle of the night to sit before Christ in the Eucharist, offering their prayers for the intentions that pour into the order from all over the world. Sister Mary Bosco puts it this way: “Just as moms and dads of newborns wake to the cries of their child no matter the hour, so, too, do the sisters awaken to the cries of the Church throughout the world, because there is always someone suffering and needing help and encouragement.” Forming Souls in Daily Life For both women, their experience of spiritual motherhood flows directly from their spousal relationship with Christ, but it doesn’t end there. Spiritual motherhood, they tell me, is about encounters, not abstract concepts. Being called to nurture the interior lives of those in their orbits means real work in the real world. For Hayes, her public vows of consecration offered her the opportunity to speak with others, including her students, allowing her to witness to the love of Christ and the way He has moved in her life. This, in turn, made them feel comfortable sharing their own hearts, allowing her to offer advice and support in their vocational discernment. Sister Mary, whose order works in both education and health care, recognizes that in those settings spiritual motherhood requires discernment. She has learned to prayerfully ask herself: What is her role in each situation? Whether it’s to sit and listen, to offer encouragement and bear witness to someone else’s story, or to offer practical help and intervention, she responds with the love of a bride of Christ in a tangible way that is deeply needed. As Hayes put it, women see with the heart, allowing them to not only recognize the external needs of those in the margins of society but also the deeper needs of the soul. The Power of Presence Every mom knows how important presence is — the way our children light up when we give them our full and undivided attention. Attention and presence are so very rare in this world. It is a beautiful witness that both women can be fully present to the men and women whom the Lord puts before them. Sister Mary notes that the spiritual mothers in her own life are the elderly sisters who, after decades of active service, are no longer able to minister in the world. They nonetheless sit with the Lord in adoration each day and offer their wisdom to the novices and postulants who help care for them. Within the order, they are the powerhouses of prayer — their steadfast love of Christ and constant prayer support the whole order. Their motherhood is not diminished by age and infirmity; instead, it is strengthened by these factors because it is united with Christ. Ways to Honor Spiritual Moms As we prepare to celebrate Mother’s Day, let’s not forget to honor the women in our lives and in our diocese who have taken on the mantle of spiritual motherhood even as they have professed religious vows or a consecration. Just as you celebrate your own mom, consider doing one or more of the following for a spiritual mom: – Offer a spiritual bouquet and have it delivered with a real one. – Write a thank-you note to a spiritual mom (or religious order) who has touched your life or your family’s. – Have a Mass offered in their name. – Pay them a visit, offer a hug and a thank you in person for the gift they are to the Church. Though we may not always recognize it, spiritual motherhood, especially that of the consecrated women of the Church, is indispensable in the world. 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