by Wm. Steven Humphrey If you’re reading this, you probably know the value of the Mercury’s news reporting, arts and culture coverage, event calendar, and the bevy of events we host throughout the year. The work we do helps our city shine, but we can ’t do it without your support. If you believe Portland benefits from smart, local journalism and arts coverage, please consider making a small monthly contribution, because without you, there is no us. Thanks for your support! GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND!👋 Expect a dry start to the week with partly sunny skies and highs today in the mid-50s. And here's your Mercury Motivational Thought of the Day™: Give a person a fish, and they'll eat for a day. But teach a person to fish, and then you get to keep your fish. But then you might be tempted to give that same fish to someone else, and the cycle of teaching people to fish keeps repeating. But create a fishing university, and you can teach a lot of people to fish all at once. Plus you get to keep your fish WHILE earning a college teacher's salary—which admittedly is not much, but will allow you to continue buying even more fish for yourself. This has been your Mercury Motivational Thought of the Day™. And now? Here's your NEWS. IN LOCAL NEWS: • Apparently Trump's popularity has not improved since the last national "No Kings Day" march, because tens of thousands of Portlanders showed up to rally this past Saturday. Protesting against the president's fascist policies—including his economy-ruining tariffs, unnecessary war against Iran, and family-destroying immigration kidnappings—an estimated 30,000 people showed up, listened to speakers (such as Gov. Tina Kotek, Sen. Ron Wyden, and Portland City Councilor Sameer Kanal), waved creative signs, and dressed up in all sorts of inflatable animal get-ups. Meanwhile on the Burnside bridge, artist Mike Schneider gathered hundreds of umbrella-holding demonstrators to spell out the as-seen-from-above phrase “We keep us safe.” Following the rally, all eyes turned to Portland's ICE facility and the question of the day: "Will federal agents gas hundreds of peaceful people (including the elderly and children) like they did following the previous No Kings march?" The short answer: "No." Even though a court of appeals ruled on Saturday that the feds could gas people if they were facing imminent physical danger, ICE agents pocketed their gaseous munitions during that day's protest. However, around 300 demonstrators showed up to chant, and a few allegedly damaged the facility's rolling gate, which inspired Portland Police and Oregon State Troopers to clear the driveway, and allow the feds to repair the gate—which was then broken again within a couple of hours. (Saaaad trommmmboooone.) Protesters also barricaded a door to the facility with objects like Lime scooters and a real estate sign. The crowd eventually dwindled down to a few dozen by 10:30 pm after the cops proclaimed the protest to be an "unlawful assembly." Police reported arresting three demonstrators for criminal mischief, and three others were also reportedly detained by federal agents. Saturday's rallies were indicative of the size and enthusiasm of marches across the nation, which all told attracted roughly 8 million people. (A sight that hopefully made Trump's tiny orange hands quiver.) Thousands gathered in downtown Portland near the Battleship Memorial for a large No Kings rally and march.[image or embed] — Portland Mercury (@portlandmercury.com) March 28, 2026 at 3:15 PM [image or embed] — Portland Mercury (@portlandmercury.com) March 28, 2026 at 4:14 PM A little absurdity at tonight’s Portland ICE protest. A band showed up, and a large percentage of the activists who had been standing by the front of the facility peeled off and became the crowd.[image or embed] — Suzette Smith (@suzettesmith.bsky.social) March 28, 2026 at 6:23 PM • In labor news: an ongoing strike at Portland Community College could put classes in limbo. For the roughly 350 international students studying at PCC with an F-1 visa, if a compromise cannot be reached between striking educators and college officials, it could have major consequences. International students have been advised that if the strike carries on and classes don’t resume, they will either have to transfer to a different college or leave the country. That is very much "not good," and you can learn more from this Mercury story by Anna Del Savio. • And here's a saaaaad trombone for right wing influencer Nick Sortor: The annoying agitator made a pledge to return to Portland to testify in the trial of Angella Davis, who Sortor accused of ... checks notes... dressing like a bird, swinging a stick, and causing him to fall during an October 2 protest at the local ICE facility. Though unfortunately for him, it was a wasted trip, because a jury has acquitted her of all charges. (WOMP! WOMP!) On the night of the protest, Sortor was doing his usual thing—shining bright lights in the eyes of protesters, and being rude AF—when a skirmish erupted, ending with the hapless Sortor being unceremoniously knocked on his butt. The jury found that while Davis did swing her bird stick at the unlikable influencer, she was not the one who physically pushed him, and thereby cleared her of charges of second-degree disorderly conduct and offensive physical contact. While the outcome was certainly a great disappointment to Sortor, to keep things in perspective, I'm sure he's a much greater disappointment to his parents. • Congrats to our Portland Blazers who took the Washington Wizards out to the woodshed and wallopped them with a 123-88 victory on Sunday. Top scorers were Toumani Camara, Scoot Henderson, and Deni Avdija, giving the boys some much-needed confidence going into their game against the Clippers this coming Tuesday. • Calling all lovers of "analog": Mercury music columnist Ryan Prado is back with his new-ish album review column Spin Cycle! In this edition, Ryan delivers the skinny on three new albums from Portland's own The Delines, Anjimile, and Vancouver, BC's Ora Cogan. Give it a read, it'll be good for your ears! The 17th Fertile Ground Festival of New Works achieves lift off on April 10 and soars for 17 days of imaginative readings and plays in Portland. We’ve got picks from the nearly 100 projects pitched![image or embed] — Portland Mercury (@portlandmercury.com) March 27, 2026 at 4:19 PM IN NATIONAL/WORLD NEWS: • Despite the fact that Trump has been claiming lots of progress during negotiations with Iran, he continues to ramp up the threats, saying that unless the country agrees to his demands to end the war (which he helped start) he would “completely obliterate” Iranian power plants, oil wells, and even destroy drinking water facilities. He's also threatening to seize the oil-rich Kharg Island export hub. Meanwhile, Iran doesn't seem to be taking Trump's blustery threats very seriously, as it continues to bomb Israel’s main nuclear research center, and is keeping a tight hold on the Strait of Hormuz, which is slowing the distribution of oil and sending gas prices skyrocketing around the globe—up a whopping 60 percent since the start of this wholly unnecessary war that has already killed 3,000 people across the Middle East. Pete Hegseth just held a prayer service in which he appealed for God's help in killing our "enemies" with maximal violence and brutality. Hegseth's bloodlust and sadism are drawing sustenance from his particular brand of far-right Christianity. 1/ (new piece from me)newrepublic.com/article/2083...[image or embed] — Greg Sargent (@gregsargent.bsky.social) March 30, 2026 at 4:30 AM • And the partial government shutdown—centering on the Democrats' refusal to fund the kidnappers of ICE—continues, making it the longest such shutdown in US history. House Republicans are refusing to approve a deal passed in the Senate last week, that would have funded most of DHS (except for ICE) and ended the long wait times at the nation's airports. However, and while he could have done this much earlier, Trump has finally agreed to pay TSA workers the paychecks they're owed with money from his "Big Beautiful Bill," the tax-cutting and spending legislation signed into law last July. • This Wednesday, the Supreme Court will hear a Trump-inspired case to end birthright citizenship in the US, regardless of the parents’ immigration status—and the president is citing a wildly racist court decision from 1884 to bolster his argument. Way back in 1884, the Supreme Court ruled against a Native American man who claimed that, since he had been forced to bow to the whims of the United States, he should also be able to vote. To even the most casual observer, this argument is some seriously weak sauce. “At a fundamental level, this case is about an attempt to strip citizenship from the children of immigrants who have always been citizens of the U.S. The Native American questions the government raises are really beside the point,” according to ACLU lawyer Cody Wofsy. But when has logic and basic human decency ever been a concern to the Trump administration? Trump’s legal team is citing racist and xenophobic legal arguments in a bid to get the Supreme Court to allow the president to strip birthright citizenship.[image or embed] — The Daily Beast (@thedailybeast.bsky.social) March 30, 2026 at 6:57 AM • In March Madness news, the second ranked Connecticut Huskies embarrassed the number one Duke Blue Devils with a stunning last-second three-pointer, winning the final game of the men’s Elite Eight on Sunday by a score of 73-72. Despite Duke leading with 19 points earlier in the second half, UConn came from behind with freshman guard Braylon Mullins putting a dagger in the heart of the Devils with his three-pointer, launched with only 0.3 seconds left on the clock. Connecticut now advances to the Final Four, hoping for their third national championship. • And finally, I'm falling into this week like.... @book.referees #classic #Dynasty #staircases ♬ original sound - Book Referees ...read more read less