On July 3, 2020, the Bernal family experienced a tragedy when 3-year-old Malachi went missing during a gathering with friends. The boy had fallen in a pool. He was pulled out, CPR administered to his motionless body, and he was rushed to the hospital. “They said we had three options: pull the plug , institutionalize him or take him home,” Trisha recalled. “We took him home. We knew we’d have to take care of him the rest of his life.” Trisha’s husband, Gustavo, added: “Brain damage and all. He was still my Malachi.” Neither parent was prepared for the extraordinary path they were about to follow — caring for Malachi, experiencing personal challenges and growth, and adopting an additional special needs child, Penelope. Gustavo began as a custodian, became an elementary school’s lead custodian and rose to custodial operations supervisor for Poway Unified School District. Trisha grew up helping her mom run a day care center and tutored students with learning disabilities, later working at a boarding school for at-risk girls. After they married in 2006, they became foster parents. At the time of Malachi’s injury, they had three older children of their own and cared for two foster children. “Our world was completely flipped,” Trisha said. “We had to learn a host of new things.” Malachi is fed liquid diets every seven hours through a “G-tube” that is connected to his stomach. He cannot walk or speak. He needs help with bowel movements and bathing. He went through a period having hundreds of seizures daily and constantly vomiting. At first, he was unable to laugh or otherwise respond. His muscles were stiff. He could not move and would wake up from sleep every few hours. The Bernals educated themselves about Malachi’s condition through medical professionals, their own research and connection with families facing similar challenges. More than five years later, Trisha now calls herself “mama, turned neurologist.” Instead of relying on prepackaged food for the G-tube, they make homemade blends. “He’s healthier than any of us,” Trisha said. “Vegetables are put in the blender and are good in the syringe. They go directly to his stomach through the tube.” They tried carefully researched alternative medicines and supplements as well as new technology. Currently, they are working with an eye-gaze machine that will enable Malachi to communicate with his eyes. And they have not shied away from a normal life. “Life doesn’t stop,” Gustavo said. “It just looks different and its through us.” They enjoy family outings to SeaWorld and elsewhere. Vacations have included Kings Canyon, Yosemite, Grand Canyon and New Orleans. Malachi plays baseball with the Miracle League of San Diego. “With help, he can hit and throw the ball,” Gustavo said. “I can’t believe how far we’ve come,” Trisha said. “Seizure-free, controlled smiles, laughs regularly and minimal sleep meds. “On his birthday, he smiled and laughed every time we talked about how it was his birthday and he’s now a big 8-year-old.” The experience has been difficult and has taken a toll on the Bernals — both parents have PTSD. “There’s no way of knowing what will trigger emotions,” Trisha said. “But if you ignore them, they will overcome you.” Their faith helped them cope. “I don’t see how you can go through this without faith,” Trisha said. She added, “God used Malachi in ways that astound me.” Trisha and Gustavo say their marriage and family strengthened as Malachi progressed. “We have grown as humans,” Trisha said. “I would not want to go back to the person I was before 2020.” The family also grew in numbers. Several years ago, they took in as foster parents a baby with cerebral palsy and autism stemming from drug exposure. They fell in love with Penelope, now 4, and welcomed her into their family last year through adoption. “There is no way we would have Penelope in our lives without Malachi,” Trisha said. “God taught us through Malachi.” “Some may say [adopting Penelope] was too much,” Gustavo added. “We adopted her because we love her, and she became part of our family. “And I love being a dad.” About this series Goldsmith is a Union-Tribune contributing columnist. We welcome reader suggestions of people who have done something extraordinary or otherwise educational, inspiring or interesting and who have not received much previous media. Please send suggestions to Jan Goldsmith at [email protected] ...read more read less