Speed Rack is the femme-fronted, speed-bartending competition we've been thirsty for. by Ben Coleman Portland has a lot of bars and a lot of bartenders. And a lot of those bartenders aren’t dudes, despite the somewhat bro-y atmosp here food service gets sometimes. Femme bartenders put up with a lot and don’t always have an opportunity to earn accolades beyond the after-shift tip pool. Enter Speed Rack, self-described as “an all-female high-speed bartending competition designed to highlight up-and-coming women and femme identifying folk in the cocktail industry.” What that translates to is an intensely competitive job skills tournament in which the best femme spirit-slingers in the city display their skills on stage for a squad of very judgy judges and an increasingly rowdy audience of their friends, co-workers, and rivals. I’m not a bartender or a lady or, if I’m honest, a particularly competitive person, so I wasn’t aware of Speed Rack despite its 13-year history in the bar scene. The event started in New York City in 2011, the result of organizers Ivy Mix and Lynnette Marrero’s frustration with the male dominated bar space. “[We were] going to the ‘best bars’ in the world and not seeing a whole lot of diversity there,” Mix told Imbibe in a 2024 interview. The event rapidly expanded into a national competition with various brackets and divisions, and this year the event calendar included seven cities, including bar-friendly locals like Boston and New Orleans. To date the organizers say they’ve raised 1.75 million dollars for breast cancer research. The Portland stop is at the Evergreen event space on SE Alder, right around the corner from Loyal Legion. It’s a nice, mid-sized venue of the post-industrial vintage, with high ceilings and a lot of brick. First thing to know, if you’re attending next year, is that for a drinking person, it’s an incredible value for money. Admission is 30 bucks, and since this is mostly by-bartenders-for-bartenders (and because funding breast cancer research is a hell of a good cause) the liquor reps have put on quite a show. There are little plastic glasses of pretty much everything that’s bad for your liver, from Bushmills to Jon Bon Jovi’s sparkling rosé. There are also several enormous buckets of Liquid Death (sparkling and flat) by the door, which is a real smart choice considering how hard some of the spectators are going. The MC is a brand ambassador for Hendricks gin, and he takes the stage in a pink feather boa and a lot of hype man swagger. He introduces the judges, explains the rules, and then it’s off to the races for round one. Karine Palascak of Portland’s own Too Soon and Chelsea Matthews of a vintage-y LA bar called The Doctor's Office take the stage and square up solemnly behind their identical stations. Trusty bar-backs set up the bottles of liquor along the rail and then one-by-one each judge announces what drink the contestant should prepare. Round one is a sidecar, a gimlet, something called a Jasmine, and a reliable ‘ol Sex and the City-era Cosmo. The job now is to make all four drinks as fast and as well as possible. It’s part muscle memory and training, and partially an “order of operations” problem, as some drinks share common ingredients and preparations, while others don’t. Panther Club’s Jamey “Big Tex” Todd in action.ben coleman There’s a lot that goes into making a good cocktail, from the balance of flavors to the final presentation, and it's all the more challenging while racing against the clock. And this isn’t all for show, either. One of the judges, The Sports Bra’s Mads Dohman, tells me that, in a sports bar, speed and precision are worth more than fancy Tom-Cruise-in-Cocktail tricks: “The cocktails have to be good,” they said, “but they have to get out the door quick.”  One-by-one the matches play out. Matthews falls to Palascak in round one. Next up is Panther Club’s Jamey “Big Tex” Todd against Fortune’s Kaytee Steffler in round two. Todd has an intense aura of focus, an arm sleeved in black tattoo tape, and her mix of precision and quick thinking carry the day. Round three reveals a formidable contender in Nikki Irvine, who manages the bar at Eugene’s Marche restaurant and sports a crisp side buzz, shaking cocktails like there’s winning dice in there. According to her Instagram, they’ve been “dreaming about competing in Speed Rack since my bartender infancy,” and it shows in their performance. This just in: Speed Rack judges have OPINIONS. Ben coleman The judges are unsparing in their notes and lavish in their praise. A good round might include a note on the impeccable balance of a drink or its inventive garnish, while the wrong kind of ice/glass/rinse can earn a demerit. Occasionally a contestant really whiffs it: “This is the best rum sour I’ve ever had,” Judge Jeffrey Morgenthaler of Pacific Standard notes, “but that’s not what was asked for.” But there are still good vibes even in defeat, and there’s a lot of hugging and hand holding between ostensible rivals as they wait for the results of each round to come in. In the end, the final two stand together on stage: hometown hero Todd and Eugene’s extremely impressive Irvine. Both have acquitted themselves well in the previous matches, moving almost machine-like through the drink orders and applying dashes of creative élan here and there. The final contest is more open ended than the previous rounds. Two of the four cocktails are named, but the last two are open-ended: something sherry-based, and something smokey with a note of amaretto. The final round is nearly flawless on both sides. The judges seem both impressed by the display, but now they have to pick a winner by the smallest of margins. Both women stand on stage with peremptory bottles of champagne as the results are called out: Todd pulls ahead slightly on technical points, but Irvine nets a coveted perfect score on one of her drinks, and finished a few seconds earlier. That’s enough to secure Irvine the ultimate victory, and the crowd erupts in somewhat inebriated cheers as she’s hoisted onto the shoulders of two burley barbacks. Nikki Irvine takes home the big win at Speed Rack. ben coleman Todd seems disappointed, but maintains her composure as various attendees come up to shake hands and offer condolences. At the afterparty next door, her coworkers cheer her arrival as though she’d won, and after a few shots to blur the distinction, she’s signing up for a flash tattoo in the back room. I ask her what's next, and with an undaunted look she tells me there’s still a wildcard slot to apply for. As I leave the bar, she’s busy showing a gang of new friends the Malort back tattoo she got after the competition last year. It’s anyone’s guess what the next Speed Rack’s memento will be. ...read more read less