Q. My friend who is 84 years old has a chronic condition that affects her balance. Unfortunately, her condition is progressive. She is quite fashionable, well dressed and uses an elegant leucite cane. To my dismay, she refuses to use a walker. Is there a way I can influence her to at least try using a walker for her own safety? Thank you.  E.F. Most of us can get used to some changes that occur with age. That might be having a little less energy, requiring more sleep, being aware of our balance and just needing to slow down. However, the changes in mobility may be more of a challenge.   Unfortunately, our society generally harbors a negative view of mobility devices, according to HME180, a home medical equipment company and network for caregivers, pharmacists and more.    The use of a cane may have less stigma. Perhaps it’s because a little over 16 percent of older adults use one, so it’s not that unusual. Furthermore, canes can be attractive and even make a fashion statement. They come in colorful stained glass patterns, pastel shades, some made of wood and others with rhinestone handles. Some can even become a conversation piece.  Walkers seem to present a different story. Roughly 11 percent of older adults use them. Yet some may need to use one and don’t.  Here is part of the problem. People often “will not accept safety and stability if it means giving up their individuality and self-sufficiency,” as noted by HME180.  So why the reluctance? Some older adults may fear their loss of independence or dignity or feel walkers are just too cumbersome.   And there is the concern of how others might perceive them. Perhaps the greatest fear is that using a walker would define who they are.  Falls are the enemy of older age. The CDC reports that over 14 million adults ages 65 and over report falls each year. That’s one out of four older adults. Furthermore, among this age group, falls are the leading cause of injury-related deaths. Here are a few suggestions that might be helpful in your mission as suggested by Mobility2 you, a provider of mobility devices.    Ask a health team’s opinion. This is a first step. The team might include a doctor, physical therapist or an occupational therapist who can assess mobility needs and offer a recommendation.     Address your friend’s concerns. Discuss her reluctance and listen attentively. For example, is your friend embarrassed or afraid of appearing old? Show understanding and empathy.     Provide compelling information. Emphasize that using a walker is a key to prevent falls that can cause injuries and even death.  They are a tool to remain independent. You might add that one in four older adults fall each year, per the CDC. Help in choosing the right walker. Accompany your friend in selecting the appropriate walker. Factors include comfort, ease of use, weight capacity, and adjustability are important as well as cost.    Suggest a gradual transition. Your friend may start using a walker in her home and then move outside to navigate sidewalks and people.   I had the opportunity to talk about the “walker experience” with a friend who uses one requiring both hands. She has always been independent and taken good care of herself with yoga, Pilates, good nutrition, friends, purpose and more. “Using a walker,” she says, “makes her feel dependent and prevents her from doing many of her usual physical activities. She also does not like being a burden to others.  “Having no free hand is a big inconvenience, she says.” She found this particularly true when it comes to heavy doors, ordering coffee at Starbucks, facing stairs with no ramp, getting in and out of one’s seat at the movie theatre and using public rest rooms. She added, “It also is difficult when attending an event with a buffet dinner as well as needing to hold an umbrella, which is not possible.” If needing to go out in the rain, she makes sure her jacket has a hood. Yet, she adds, “People are very nice and helpful such as the young man who brought my Starbucks coffee to my table and others who have given up their seat or held the door for me. Although she believes she has no choice, she sees the upside of using a walker as preventing her from falling, her highest priority. Despite the inconveniences, this woman makes it work; she adapts, remains curious, active and fully engaged.  Thank you, E.F., for your good question. Your friend is lucky to have you as a friend. Stay well and just a reminder to be kind …always. Helen Dennis is a nationally recognized leader on issues of aging and the new retirement with academic, corporate and nonprofit experience. Contact Helen with your questions and comments at Helendenn@gmail.com.  Visit Helen at HelenMdennis.com and follow her on facebook.com/SuccessfulAgingCommunity. 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