I started watching season 3 of the HBO hit “The White Lotus” the other night. So far, it’s been a struggle to get into the new cast, especially after the demise of Jennifer Coolidge’s character, the fan-favorite Tanya “These gays are trying to murder me!” McQuoid.But I have to admit Walt on Goggins’ tortured, chain-smoking Rick Hatchett is starting to grow on me — albeit very slowly, like mold on a piece of Wonder Bread. It’s not about Rick’s looks, what with all that sweaty hair and a five-finger forehead with the square-mileage of a small country. Oh sure, he’s tall and has six-pack abs. Though who wants to kiss an ashtray rinsed out with a shot of Jack Daniels?I do, and I hate myself for it.There’s just something about Rick. And like his girlfriend — the airy, orthodontically challenged Chelsea — many women don’t seem to mind his excessive crankiness. As much as Rick lets us down, we’re right there with Chelsea lifting him up. Even after a weed-induced meltdown at a snake show, where he lets loose a bunch of caged-up cobras and one of them bites Chelsea, we’re still on his side. Heck, maybe even more so. Such is the level of our fucked-up devotion.So what is it about bad boys? And why do we give them so much attention?“Attraction is idiosyncratic and finicky,” says social psychologist Dr. Sarah Hill. She says risk-tolerance and arrogance are evolutionary cues women tend to seek subconsciously in a potential mate. Even when arrogance is a mask for deep insecurity or a troubled past, that I-don’t need-you attitude is magnetic. Kind of like “The White Lotus” — exotic and luxe, but you just know it’s not going to end well.The rugged allure of a guy like Rick — dare I say rizz? — promises a wild and unpredictable ride. One that can be particularly enticing if you tend to be anxious or avoidant in your attachment style. It can trigger a push-pull dynamic that feels like passion when it’s really just emotional unavailability.“Some of us just love that bad-boy edge,” my friend Shelane tells me. “They tend to be very dynamic. And it’s natural to be drawn to someone like that. But I’ve found a lot of the time, the bad boys are also narcissists. They know exactly what to say or do.” She thinks some of us just want to rescue what we perceive as “the sheep in wolf’s clothing.”Another friend, Nikki, says she was also drawn to mysterious, charismatic — and emotionally unavailable men. “I think I saw those b-boy relationships as a source of fun and a way to avoid a potentially deeper connection and heartbreak if things went south,” she says. The sense of adventure could often be so attractive, she’d be willing to overlook the red flags.All of the above can become a perfect storm for investing in bad-boy relationships rather than investing in yourself. As Nikki says, “Holding yourself to a higher standard isn’t always as easy as it sounds. But creating positive experiences and feelings on your own eliminates the need to seek validation from a bad boy and his bullshit.”When I was in college, I dated a guy named Dave. He was tall, handsome and had a serious binge-drinking problem. He wrote me the most beautiful poems. He hated his parents. He said he loved me. One night, we got drunk and took a joy ride in one of the campus maintenance trucks. Dave ended up quitting school. I ended up meeting someone else. His mom called me after I dumped him to ask if we couldn’t get back together. I was so good for him, she said. But the truth is, we can’t save the bad boys. They can only save themselves.As Walter Goggins says about his “White Lotus” character, “Rick is a very soulful guy who’s lost his soul. He’s somebody who’s been running from his life for so long and somebody who is so angry and bitter. He wants to understand why he is where he is.”Maybe inside every bad boy, there’s just a nice guy trying to get out. One who won’t finish last. And one who will check out of “The White Lotus” without all the baggage.The post Betty Diaries: What’s so good about a bad boy? appeared first on Park Record. ...read more read less