Now that Dakota Pacific’s new town plan is out in the open, I write to you to announce my candidacy for mayor of Kimballstan. Long have our investors! Sorry, I mean residents of Kimball Junction struggled under oppressive planning rules that negate their rights. Specifically the right to be stacked like a cord of wood in housing units made as cheaply as possible because there is a buck in it.But as the presumptive mayor of Kimballstan, I offer an olive branch. There will be minimum planning rules. Minimum building height 10 stories, minimum fire extinguishers per building … well … one, I suppose. And to our detractors who worry about the traffic impact from 725 new residences in this area, I can confirm that we have sufficient funding to purchase not one, but two of those little “kids at play” signs with the luminous flags.We look forward to our annual crosstown rivalry with Park City High School. You may have the Miners, but we have the Kimballstan Lobbyists. We’re through to the finals without dropping a game (I find it’s best not to ask how — the lobbyists have some trick plays you wouldn’t believe).Andy WilliamPresumptive Mayor of Kimballstan, Jeremy RanchThe post New town, new mayor? appeared first on Park Record.