More than 30 couples from the Diocese of Fort Wayne-South Bend joined other couples from around the world this month on the Good News Cruise – an annual Catholic marriage cruise organized by Corporate Travel that is set to strengthen couples in their vocation of marriage. Bishop Rhoades was one of the keynote speakers for the 2025 cruise, with the theme of celebrating the beauty of marriage, the beauty of spouse, and the beauty of relationship with Christ. ‘The Beauty of Holiness in Marriage’ The following speech was delivered by Bishop Rhoades on Wednesday, January 8, during the Good News Cruise. When I was asked what topic regarding marriage I’d like to speak about on this cruise within the general theme of beauty, the first idea that came to my mind was holiness. I thought of the beauty of holiness. The saints exemplify the beauty of holiness. So, I also thought I’d talk about a canonized married couple as an example of holiness in marriage: Saints Louis and Zelie Martin, the parents of St. Thérèse, the first married couple to be canonized together. They were canonized by Pope Francis 10 years ago, in 2015. I believe they can be a real inspiration for married couples. Scott RichertBishop Rhoades speaks to couples, including many from the Diocese of Fort Wayne-South Bend, on the annual Catholic marriage Good News Cruise, about the beauty of holiness in marriage on Wednesday, January 8. Before I begin, however, I want to give a little caveat. Sometimes we can get a little discouraged before examples of holiness that appear unattainable. Pope Francis has talked about this and wrote that “there are some testimonies that may prove helpful and inspiring, but that we are not meant to copy, for that could lead us astray from the one specific path that the Lord has in mind for us. The important thing is that each believer discerns his or her path, that they bring out the very best of themselves, the most personal gifts that God has placed in their hearts, rather than hopelessly trying to imitate something not meant for them.” As I hold up for you the example of Saints Louis and Zelie Martin, it is good to keep this in mind. I want them to be an inspiration and help for you, so you can benefit from their example, but not think that you should try to be a copy of them. Blessed Carlo Acutis famously said that “everyone is born as originals, but many die as photocopies.” I don’t think we should try to be photocopies of the saints we admire. Rather, we can learn from them and be inspired by their virtues. The Second Vatican Council speaks of the universal call to holiness “each in his or her own way.” We each must discern our own path that the Lord has in mind for us, each of us blessed with our own personal gifts from the Lord. When I share with you the exemplary lives of Saints Louis and Zelie, I’m not suggesting that you try to photocopy their lives, but that you learn from their virtues and apply them to your own personal situations. I believe that every married person can benefit from the witness of Louis and Zelie Martin, but each in his or her own way. As Pope Francis has said: “God’s life is communicated to some in one way and to others in another way.” He points out what St. John of the Cross wrote in his Spiritual Canticle, where he avoided hard and fast rules for everyone in their spiritual life and explained that his verses were composed so that everyone could benefit from them ‘in his or her own way.’ (Gaudete et Exsultate, No. 11). Scott Richert Before giving specifics about growing in holiness in marriage, and before looking specifically at the lives of Saints Louis and Zelie Martin, I’d like to begin by talking about the call to holiness. It’s addressed to all of us. God’s words to Moses and the Israelites are addressed to us all: “Be holy, for I, the Lord your God, am holy” (Lv 19:1-2). God called Israel to be a holy nation. Jesus also called the new Israel, the Church, to be holy, to be a communion in holiness. In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus said: “Be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect” (Mt 5:48). Basically, Jesus is calling us to reflect His Father’s love. Holiness is all about love. Love is the soul of holiness. It is “charity lived to the full,” Pope Benedict XVI taught. This morning, we heard in the first reading at Mass these words of St. John in his first letter: “God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him” (1 Jn 4: 16). The saints are men and women who abided in love, abided in God. Their lives were marked by love both of God and neighbor. That’s the mark of the true disciple of Christ. They loved and followed Christ in their daily lives, and they show us that this is possible for us. They had very different personalities, but they all did this. They loved God above all things and loved their neighbor through love of Him. This is how, by God’s grace, they grew in holiness. And it’s how we can grow in holiness, again, each in his or her own way – me as a bishop and in my own particular situation as a bishop of a particular diocese and with my own particular gifts received from the Lord; you as married couples in your own particular situations, your own particular families, your specific work, and your own gifts received from the Lord. Photos by Nicole HahnBishop Rhoades poses for a photo with Cardinal Timothy Dolan, the archbishop of New York, right, and Father Stephen Ries, the priest secretary to Cardinal Dolan, after dinner on the Good News Cruise on Friday, January 10. It is necessary to keep in mind that a holy life is not primarily the result of our efforts. To think that way is the heresy of Pelagianism. It is God who sanctifies us. It is Jesus who saves us. It is the Holy Spirit who transforms us. We must keep in mind the primacy of grace in our Christian life and our pursuit of holiness. This begins with the grace of our baptism, the grace deepened and strengthened by the Sacrament of Confirmation. Pope St. John Paul II said that “the sacrament of marriage takes up again and makes specific the sanctifying grace of baptism” (Familiaris Consortio.) The graces we receive in the sacraments are meant to bear fruit in holiness. They enable us to grow in holiness. In my state in life as a bishop, I also need to rely on the graces I received in Holy Orders to grow in holiness as an ordained minister. In your state in life as married couples, you are to rely on and open your hearts each day to the graces you received in the sacrament of Matrimony. We all received the graces of faith, hope, and love when we were baptized into Christ. We received the gifts of the Holy Spirit, which were increased in confirmation. In the Sacrament of Holy Orders, which I received in the three grades (deacon, priest, and bishop), and in the Sacrament of Marriage, which you have received, we have particular graces that build on the graces of our baptism and confirmation so that we can grow in holiness in our specific state in life. Speaking of the primacy of grace regarding growing in holiness in marriage, St. Josemaria Escriva wrote that “the Sacrament of Marriage is an action of Jesus who invades the souls of husband and wife and invites them to follow Him, transforming their married life into a divine journey along the pathways of the earth.” I like that image of the sacramental grace of marriage as an action of Jesus invading the souls of the husband and wife. It’s by that grace that you are able to grow in holiness through married life, that you are able to grow in love and bear fruit. Bishop Rhoades poses for a photo with management from Corporate Travel, organizers of the Good News Cruise, from left, Chief Executive Officer David DiFranco, Vice President of Business Development and Manager of Group Tours Nate Wine, and President John Hale during a meet and greet for speakers on Monday, January 6. Of course, all this presumes that you desire to grow in holiness. I imagine that this is something you all desire or you wouldn’t have come on this Good News Cruise. You would have chosen another cruise which would have been all about fun and vacation. But you chose to make this a vacation with the Lord on a cruise in which you can focus on your marriage. Yes, you can also have fun while doing so. When we desire and pursue holiness, we are seeking to do God’s will. As St. Paul wrote to the Thessalonians, “This is God’s will for you, your sanctification.” We believe what St. Paul taught in his Letter to the Ephesians: “God chose us in Christ before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before Him” (1:4). Ultimately, this should be the goal of our life. We should never lose sight of this goal. And this should be the goal of your marriage: heaven. Our state of life vocation is the path to heaven. As a married couple, your spouse is your pathway to heaven. Marriage is a sacrament of mutual sanctification – helping each other to grow in holiness. Holiness is a very practical thing. So, I’d like to give you practical suggestions for growing in holiness in your marriage, especially by looking at how Saints Louis and Zelie Martin grew in holiness. But first, let me tell you a little about their life. Bishop Rhoades celebrates Mass on the annual Catholic marriage Good News Cruise for couples, including many from the Diocese of Fort Wayne-South Bend, on Monday, January 6. Louis and Zelie were married in 1858. He was 35 years old, and she was 27. In society at that time, this was considered rather late. People were usually much younger when they married. The reason was that they didn’t feel called to marriage when they were younger. Louis had wanted to be a monk, but he couldn’t succeed in Latin. Zelie wanted to be a nun, a Sister of Charity, but she couldn’t keep up with the lifestyle due to her health. After leaving the monastery, Louis became a watchmaker. After leaving the hope of the convent, Zelie dedicated herself to the craft of lacemaking. Louis and Zelie met while walking across a narrow medieval bridge in Zelie’s hometown of Alencon, France. She noticed a tall handsome man walking toward her. She heard a voice inside her say, “This is the one whom I have prepared for you.” Louis also felt drawn to Zelie and began to inquire about her in the town. They didn’t waste any time. They got engaged and married three months later. I guess they didn’t have pre-Cana marriage preparation programs back then. They began what is called a “Josephite” marriage, which means they didn’t have sex. They thought this was what God was calling them to. They didn’t consummate the marriage until several months after they were married, thanks to Zelie’s confessor who taught her that God designed marital intimacy, and that marriage was ordered to the procreation of children. Then the children came: nine children in 13 years! But only five daughters survived childhood. St. Thérèse was their youngest child. Louis and Zelie were married for 19 years. St. Thérèse was 4 years old when her mother died at the age of 45 from breast cancer. St. Thérèse said that God gave her parents “more suited for heaven than for this earth.” Keep in mind that St. Thérèse is a Doctor of the Church. Pope St. Pius X described her as “the greatest saint of modern times.” And she said this about her parents. She called her father a servant of God and a saint. She called both her father and her mother “incomparable parents.” With this recommendation from St. Thérèse, I think all married couples can learn from them about how to grow in holiness. Saints Zelie and Louis desired to be saints, originally as a monk and as a nun. But they came to understand that marriage was God’s will for them and that they could be sanctified not despite marriage, but through, in, and by marriage. And that’s what happened. And that’s what can happen in your lives. That’s God’s will for you: to become saints through, in, and by your marriage. This happens gradually, by the grace of the Holy Spirit. We can tend to think that holiness consists in extraordinary, great, and sensational ways. That’s not true. Pope Benedict XVI said the following: “Holiness, the fullness of Christian life, does not consist in carrying out extraordinary enterprises but in being united to Christ, in living His mysteries, in making our own His example, His thought, His behavior. The measure of holiness stems from the stature that Christ achieves in us, in as much as with the power of the Holy Spirit, we model our whole life on His” (General Audience, April 13, 2011). I mentioned already that charity or love is the soul of holiness. That’s what we see in Christ whose love was total, who made manifest the Father’s love, and who loved us to the end. And He gave us the commandment to love one another as He has loved us. This is the path of holiness – the path of love. The apostle Paul gave us an incomparable description of Christian love in Chapter 13 of his First Letter to the Corinthians, the passage that begins, “Love is patient and kind, not jealous or boastful, etc.” This is the most famous and most popular reading Christian couples choose for their weddings. In this passage, St. Paul teaches us that love is the greatest of the virtues, going so far as to say, “If I have not love, I am nothing.” Bishop Rhoades poses with some of the more than 30 couples from the Diocese of Fort Wayne-South Bend and others who wanted the opportunity to spend time with him during a special meet and greet and photo session on the annual Catholic marriage Good News Cruise on Tuesday, January 7. What can we learn from Saints Louis and Zelie about living love in marriage? First of all, they deeply loved each other. They did so tenderly. We get a glimpse of their tender love in their letters. More than 200 letters that Zelie wrote to Louis survive. And there are some letters from Louis to Zelie that survive. In these letters, we see their care for each other. They even have romantic elements in them. In these letters, they often tell each other about their prayer lives and their relationship with God, so we see not only their love for each other, but that their first and primary love was always God. I mentioned the tenderness of their love for each other. Let me give you an example from just one of Zelie’s letters to Louis. While she was away visiting relatives, she wrote: “I’m longing to be near you, my dear Louis. I love you with all my heart, and I feel my affection so much more when you’re not here with me. It would be impossible for me to live apart from you.” The feelings were mutual. In at least one of his letters to Zelie, Louis ends the letter: “Your husband and true friend who loves you for life … Louis.” Tenderness and affection. These are qualities of marital love, qualities that shouldn’t be neglected as the years pass, when the romance might be wearing off. I was struck in reading some of their letters, how tender Louis and Zelie were to each other and how attentive to each other. Imagine how this affected their children, seeing their deep love for each other. They loved each other deeply, and they showed it. While Zelie was in much pain and dying and couldn’t sleep, Louis would hold her in his arms. She would weep, and he would weep. Their tender love for each other was evident to the end. Zelie and Louis show us the beauty of tenderness in marriage. Pope Francis has written and spoken often about tenderness as a Christian virtue, founded in the tenderness of God. And he’s written and talked about the importance of tenderness in marriage. He considers tenderness as “a sign of a love that is free of selfish possessiveness.” “Tenderness,” he explains, “makes us approach a person with immense respect and a certain dread of causing them harm.” It is a way to show love, to put it into practice. The Holy Father says that “tenderness is not primarily an emotional or sentimental manner: It is the experience of feeling loved and welcomed. …” He tells married couples that it’s good to know how to marvel at each other, taking each other’s hands, for example, and looking at the other in the eyes for a few seconds in the evening. He often points to the tender love of Mary and Joseph, for each other and for Jesus. I mentioned St. Paul’s great hymn to love in First Corinthians. Pope Francis does a wonderful reflection on each stanza of that hymn in the fourth chapter of his apostolic exhortation Amoris Laetitia (“The Joy of Love”). I highly recommend it. In one part where he reflects on St. Paul’s saying that “love is not rude,” he writes the following: “To love is also to be gentle and thoughtful. … Those who love are capable of speaking words of comfort, strength, consolation, and encouragement.” It includes being courteous. These are all marks of tenderness: in both words and actions. We see this tenderness in the marriage of Zelie and Louis Martin. Zelie and Louis’ love for each other extended to their children whom they loved also with great tenderness. They made sure their children felt loved. They spent time with their children. They frequently played with them when they were young. They taught their children that God loved them. They taught them how to pray and prayed with them. They fully assumed their vocation as parents. They wanted their children to love Christ and His Church. They raised them in the love of God and neighbor. The love of God was the compass of their life. And they wanted God’s love to be the compass of their children’s lives. They lived very active lives, but they always put God first, and they taught their children to do the same: to love Christ and follow Him in their daily lives. This was their path of holiness. Their family was truly “a domestic Church,” in which like the Church, their family was a place where the Gospel was transmitted and from which the Gospel radiated. Louis and Zelie made time for the Lord. He wasn’t able to become a monk, and she wasn’t able to become a nun, in which they would have been living the contemplative life. But we can say they were contemplatives in the midst of their life in the world. They made prayer a priority in their home because they put God first in their lives. They prayed individually. In fact, Louis would sometimes go on prayer pilgrimages by himself. And every month, he would participate in an all-night vigil (nocturnal Eucharistic adoration) in reparation for the loss of the Catholic faith in France at that time. They also prayed together as a family. They sought holiness through prayer, the sacraments, the devotions, and traditions of the Church, like novenas (which Zelie especially liked to do). Notice that they both had their own specific prayer preferences. The Eucharist was the center of their lives, and the first activity of their day. They received holy Communion as often as possible. In those days, that wasn’t every day. But they were always able to on Sundays and on the first Fridays of the month. “Participation at Mass wasn’t just a routine for them, but a vital necessity, a refreshment and feast” (Helene Mongin, “The Extraordinary Parents of St. Therese of Lisieux,” p. 39). Of course, they were human. Zelie would sometimes get drowsy and fall asleep. But when she woke up, she would just put this in God’s hands. Both Louis and Zelie had regular confessors and “considered the sacrament of Reconciliation the privileged instrument of divine mercy, not a burden” (p. 41). The whole family went to High Mass on Sunday in the morning and to vespers on Sunday evening. Louis and Zelie belonged to pious associations, popular at that time, and enrolled their children in them also. For example, Zelie was a third-order Franciscan and would visit a nearby convent of Poor Clare sisters for advice and prayer (p. 42). Incidentally, Louis enjoyed going fishing as a time of leisure in his life (something we all need), and he would bring all the fish he caught to the Poor Clares. Besides saying grace together as a family before every meal, the whole family would join together in prayer in the evening. Once all the children were in bed, Louis and Zelie would spend one last time before the Lord before going to bed. One last note about their prayer: They had a filial devotion to the Blessed Mother. Both Louis and Zelie wore scapulars and had their children wear scapulars “because they wanted them protected under the mantle of the Blessed Virgin.” And, when they gathered together every evening to pray, they did so around the statue of the Blessed Virgin, a statue known as Our Lady of the Smile. They decorated the statue every May with garlands of flower petals (p. 51-52). In sharing about the prayer life of the Martin family, I do so not to recommend any particular devotion, but to emphasize the importance of prayer for all of us to grow in holiness, the primacy of the spiritual life in our lives, and particularly in marriage and family life. We should all have a prayer plan for our daily lives. We all need personal space to have heartfelt dialogue with the Lord, solitude, and silence before God. Of course, this should not mean neglecting our other responsibilities. For example, a husband or wife going off to pray so much that he or she neglects the family. In married life, like in my life as a bishop, we can’t only be contemplative, but we can be active contemplatives – making time for prayer while also being responsible and active in fulfilling our duties. We won’t grow in holiness if we neglect either. I realize that many of you already have grown children, so some of the things I’ve mentioned about family prayer may not directly apply. Or some may not have received the gift of children. Yet, besides our own individual, personal prayer, we do have opportunities perhaps to teach and pray with grandchildren, nieces and nephews, or grandnieces and nephews (if you’re my age), or with godchildren. I’d like to mention another highlight of Zelie and Louis’ journey of holiness: their love and service of the poor. Their love for each other and for their children extended beyond their family, to their relatives, friends, neighbors, their employees, and also especially to the poor and needy. Their home was always open and welcome to others. They gave to the poor and cared for any homeless person they encountered, many times bringing them into their own home for a meal. Being attentive to the poor, as Jesus teaches us in the parable of the last judgment (cf. Mt 25), is necessary for salvation. Like so many things, the holiness to which the Lord calls us will grow through small gestures. So, when we see a poor person on the street, we shouldn’t be afraid of talking to them and maybe give them some help if we can. Generosity is one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit. If we’re not growing in generosity, we’re not growing in holiness. Louis and Zelie financially supported the Church’s missions overseas by giving generous donations to the Pontifical Mission Societies. It’s significant to note that their daughter, St. Thérèse, is patron saint of the missions, and also that Louis and Zelie were beatified on World Mission Sunday back in 2008. There are many examples you can read about their charity to the poor if you read the book by Helene Mongin, “The Extraordinary Parents of St. Thérèse of Lisieux.” I don’t have time in this talk to share these stories of their charity. I would like to add, however, that their business was successful, and they did well financially. But they didn’t live in luxury. They lived a quite simple life. They were always generous toward the needy and the Church. In their married and family life, Louis and Zelie learned that the way of holiness passes by the way of the cross. This is something we may try to avoid, but, if we do, we won’t grow in holiness. Sacrifice is a necessary part of love. The word “sacrifice” literally means “to make holy.” Love is sacrificial. Christ’s love was sacrificial, and we are all called to imitate the love of Christ. Just as Christ sacrificed His life for each one of us, those in marriage are called to sacrifice for each other and for their children, just as I as a celibate priest and bishop am called to sacrifice for the flock I serve as shepherd. In marriage and family, one grows in holiness with each sacrificial act done for one’s spouse and children. Think of what sacrifices you can make to make your spouse’s life happier or easier. You know, holiness is a very practical thing. There are many things you can do – like being more patient and not complaining about something that annoys you. That’s a sacrifice – withholding the tongue. Or making extra sacrifices for your spouse when he or she is going through a difficult time. Or think of sacrifices you can make for your children, especially the sacrifice of your time. Let’s say you just get home from work and you’re tired, and one of your little children wants you to play with them. It’s an act of love to make that sacrifice. Or an older child wants to talk when you have other things on your mind – it’s an act of love to redirect your attention to this child and listen to them with patience. These sacrifices increase one’s holiness. These may seem like small gestures, but they are important means to holiness. Zelie and Louis Martin sometimes worked long hours in the lace-making business, yet, despite their weariness, they would try to make time for their children, to teach them, pray with them, and play with them. That was in the 19th century. I think this is one of the big challenges we have today. A common obstacle to growing in holiness today is that many families are involved in so many activities that take up their time that they do not have time to spend together, or they don’t have the energy to spend quality time with each other because they’re exhausted. They can become disconnected from each other. We are so tempted today to get absorbed in doing things, not just our work, but other activities that consume our lives, rather than spending time with Christ and with our families. We need to learn to make time for the Lord, for our families, and for ourselves. I read one writer recently who said: “Don’t let your calendar dictate to you, but you dictate to your calendar.” I think that’s excellent advice for all of us. I’ve already spoken a little about sacrifice, but I also need to talk more specifically about suffering. We all have to deal with suffering in our lives. As I mentioned only in passing, Louis and Zelie Martin had nine children, but only five girls survived childhood. They suffered the heartbreaking loss of three sons (all named Joseph) who did not survive infancy. One of the three died from the neglect of his wet-nurse. He had to be fed by a nurse away from home because of Zelie’s bad health (she already had the beginnings of breast cancer). And they lost a fourth child, a daughter Helene, at the age of 5. She had been sick for only a day and then died. Imagine the heartbreak they experienced. The loss of these four children was devastating to Louis and Zelie, but they never faltered in their faith in God. They turned to Him in their grief and received His comfort. They grew in holiness through these tragedies because, at the end of the day, they always abandoned themselves to divine providence. They endured their losses with great courage and hope in the Lord. This was, in the end, a great sign of their holiness. They abandoned their lives into the Father’s hands with total confidence in His love, with confidence that their beloved children were received by Him into the glory of heaven. Regarding the lives of their five surviving daughters, as you may know, they all became nuns – four of them Carmelites (including St. Thérèse), and one of them, Leonie, a Visitation nun. Leonie, who had the religious name Sister Francois Thérèse, has the title of Servant of God, and her cause for beatification was introduced in 2015, the same year her parents were canonized saints. Already three saints in this family – there may be four someday! In hearing this talk, I hope you aren’t feeling discouraged about your own prospects for holiness, thinking that you fall so far short of living the virtues practiced so heroically by Saints Louis and Zelie. I can sometimes feel that way after I read the life of a bishop saint. Pope Benedict gives us some good counsel. He wrote: “Holiness does not consist in not making mistakes or never sinning. Holiness grows with the capacity for conversion, repentance, willingness to begin again, and above all with the capacity to forgive and reconcile. …” Pope Francis also gives us some good counsel: “When you feel the temptation to dwell on your own weakness, raise your eyes to Christ crucified and say, ‘Lord, I am a poor sinner, but you can work the miracle of making me a little bit better.”’ We must always trust in the power of the Holy Spirit to become holy. We must just keep trying to love as Christ loves us. And, for you, that begins by loving your husband or wife. The Church needs your example of holiness, because it’s holiness that evangelizes and attracts people to the Church. As Pope Francis says: “Holiness is the most attractive face of the Church.” May Saint Louis and Saint Zelie intercede for you as you continue to walk the path of holiness! The post Bishop Teaches Holiness in Marriage on Good News Cruise appeared first on Today's Catholic.