by Anonymous You know where to send the lists and documentation should anything happen. I'm doing everything I can to hold on. but its too much. I have to take it hour by hour. I need aide assistance, access to basic human decency. It crippling to need to heal from so much and not be able to access it. My only solace is that should anything happen to me, by my hand or others, there are things in place to assure catastrophe for those who have failed us all. I'm doing my best to stop thinking of methods and measures to take, but my brain keeps coming up with 'contigencies' to find some sort of releif from all this pain. im running out of soothing techniques. the isolation is killing me. sure, may be the medical examiner will say something different, but the track i'm on right now. its the isolation. [To all those who are struggling, help is available, and you are needed in this world. If you are thinking of self-harm, please call or text 988 to talk to a professional who can help.—eds.]