A planned bonding retreat for Trenton City Council members looks like a non-starter potentially after gobsmacked chicanery deployed last week during the election of a new president. Just when Vice President/South Ward Councilwoman Jenna Figueroa Kettenburg appeared poised to fill the seat of BFF Councilwoman and President Crystal Feliciano, Councilwoman Jasi Edwards flipped the script. Talk about a rewrite, the at-large representative morphed into the ultimate puppet master with a new seating chart for colleagues. Edwards, an incumbent who apparently had promised her vote for Figueroa-Kettenburg, abstained. Her action set the stage for a wild switcheroo as Figueroa-Kettenburg etched a 3-3 vote, failing to receive majority support. At-large Councilwoman Yazminelly Gonzalez eventually gained unanimous backing while Edwards claimed the vice-presidency. In terms of wheeling, dealing, and stealing, the Edwards performance with City Council members Teska Frisby (West Ward), East Ward Councilman Joe Harrison, and Gonzalez as accomplices, created the political version of grand theft larceny. In the end, City Council members made lovey-dovey with a 7-0 vote of affirmation for Gonzalez. Kudos to Figueroa-Kettenburg for maintaining composure in the face of the ultimate Edwards double-cross worthy of The O’Jays “Back Stabbers” as theme music. (What they doin’?) Edwards smiled in the face of Figueroa-Kettenburg as the quartet delivered a cold-serve of collusion.  And, to make matters worse, several members fumbled and bumbled their own ordinance regarding protocol for voting in the new president. Persons familiar with the City Council skullduggery noted plans had Figueroa-Kettenburg inserted as president and North Ward Councilwoman Jennifer Williams as vice-president. Figueroa-Kettenburg told The Trentonian she felt blindsided by the unexpected reversal of fortune then suggested all other questions be forwarded to Edwards. Unfortunately, Edwards failed to oblige an interview although one can imagine the bad blood that flows between the two members of city council. Sending the city representatives on a three-day, two-night retreat for team building sounds like an Agatha Christie whodunnit waiting to happen, something akin to her And Then There Were None, aka Ten Little Indians. The Agatha Christie plot has a group of strangers visiting a mansion only to be knocked off one by one. Note to Trenton City Council members who bend over backward to portray unity — it’s okay to express disappointment or scream during supreme acts of betrayal or being punctured. A past observation here noted that this bunch of city council members included cliques and backroom dealers, a criticism that attracted pushback. The recent shenanigans support a notion that City Council members engage in conspiracy. No matter, as the bar sets low for this political group that fails in a responsibility to deliver checks and balances for Mayor Reed Gusciora. Diminished expectations produce minimal disappointments. Still, Figueroa-Kettenburg causing a scene with Edwards just to her right on the dais, would have made for outstanding theater. Instead, niceties flowed in a strange version of DreamGirls meet Mean Girls (plus Joe Harrison). (O’Jays, please). They smilin’ in your face, all the time they wanna take your place — the backstabbers (back stabbers). L.A. Parker is a Trentonian columnist. Find him on Twitter @LAParker6 or email him at [email protected].