The LEGO Art World Map contains a whopping 11,695 pieces, making it the largest set ever produced. In comparison, the number of stories about the Trenton Animal Shelter falls shy of LEGO acclaim although each day adds another moving part to an interesting capital city kennel tale. First, meet Al Elk aka the Bud Bandit. He awaits city approval to open a cannabis dispensary, although Elk owns several head shops, described as retail businesses that sells paraphernalia used for consumption of marijuana and other tobacco products. And, Elk, during a phone conversation, expressed a love for animals, especially dogs. That love, according to Elk, moved him to make an alleged $100,000 in kind donation to the Trenton Animal Shelter, a contribution consisting of various appliances, construction of dog playground areas at the Escher St. facility, and hands on work for installation of those outdoor additions. Elk arranged for the donation of gifts with police Lt. Alexis Durlacher (for transparency, a friend of mine) who held the chief position at the Animal Shelter. Apparently, Durlacher failed to alert City Council members about the Elk gift although South Ward Councilwoman Jenna Kettenburg knew first hand about the gifts and several and at least one collea “liked” the message when she made a social media post about the windfall. Now, these politicians and several city officials have turned Lieutenant Durlacher into Public Enemy No. 1. City Council members recently stopped short of outing Durlacher publicly as the “guilty” party as city Law Director Wes Bridges advised to save the discussion for Executive Session. Bridges voiced repetitive warnings about heading down a slippery legal slope.Still, several City Council members wanted at least a pound of Durlacher flesh. “In an over abundance of caution…..I would strongly recommend to the Council that that matter be discussed in Executive Session,” Bridges advised. City Council attorney, Ed Kologi, disagreed with Bridges’ assessment, considered Durlacher fair game. Business Administrator Maria Richardson and Health & Human Services Director Diego Minacapelli delivered updated performances of the Hogan’s Heroes sitcom character Sgt. Schultz who wielded a famous catchphrase — I know nothing. “Mr. Minacapelli had nothing to do with (this) situation,” assured Richardson, who had covered her own, uh, seat when pressed by Council Vice-president Kettenburg about how the director of health knew nothing about the Elk construction. City Council President Crystal Feliciano joined the bait-and-switch fishing expedition. First, a one-time only offer to take on the LEGO Art World Map, attempt the New York Times’ Sunday crossword puzzle, or to connect rhyme and reason to this Animal House, sorry, Animal Shelter mess. (Watch where you step). Let me explain. Minacapelli came on in July 2024 as director of health and human services which still owned oversight of Trenton Animal Shelter operations desoite Mayor Reed Gusciora’s executive order that named Durlacher chief of the facility. Minacapelli said he discovered the Elk construction project in October. He alerted Richardson. “Dr. Minacapelli found out about this at the end of October and he immediately called me and asked if I had approved (the work),” Richardson said. Kettenberg pressed about how the work had been overlooked from late July until late October. “I will not be able to respond to that, because I was not responsible for the Shelter at that time,” Richardson offered. Hold up. Wait a minute, Kettenburg knew about the Elk donation. As aforementioned, her June 1 social media post praised Al Elk for his contribution. Kettenburg looked the part of a “Price Is Right” game show co-host. Tell Shelter employees what they have won, Jenna. “Special shout out to Al Elk for his generous donation of brand new appliances (refrigerator, washer, dryer and microwave) to the Trenton Animal Shelter yesterday! He came to a TAS event last weekend, told me he wanted to help, and did he ever! Very special shout out! Thank you Al on behalf of the extremely grateful TAS staff! The shelter is looking up and dogs are being well cared for and adopted,” Kettenburg wrote. The post included photos of Kettenburg with Al Elk, Durlacher, and a couple of appliances, gift items that would have made animal lover and former PIR host Bob Barker grin like a Cheshire Cat. Three days later, Trenton Animal Shelter made this public social media post about the Elk construction project. The June 4, 2024 update read: “Currently getting new installs at our Shelter, we are splitting our 5 backyards into two, this means instead of having 5 dogs enjoying playtime in the yard we will now be able to have 10 dogs out at a time enjoying yard time. We are also including metal roofs for the yards so that we can provide better shade. “We’ve also have been donated a brand new refrigerator for our brand new break room which staff has went without due to the high numbers of dogs and lack of space. In addition to that we’ve received a brand new washer and dryer.” Durlacher thanked the Bud Bandit for his huge donation. People, this Elk contribution pales in comparison to seven Trenton police officers involved in a conspiracy (sort of like organized crime) to defraud the city of money. City Council members never asked hard questions about that infamous affair. Clearly, Minacapelli had some oversight of Trenton Animal Shelter. He knew 46 dogs have been euthanized since his arrival and the good doctor estimated that Trenton pays a Yardley, Pa. kennel $800,000 to board city dogs there annually. Yet, no city council members inquired about his connection to TAS nor how many times he visited a facility that hemorrhaged taxpayer dollars. Bridges suggested Elk provide receipts and other documentation for his in kind donations and that the city reimburse him. An act of good faith and better intention would have Elk redonate the dollars.Promise to ask him during our next phone conversation. Please, come back on Sunday for an interesting insight about the Trenton Animal Shelter, theft by deception, corruption, Rice notifications, Columbus Kennels, lies, collusion, Durlacher, Kettenburg, Feliciano, political payback, Jews, Richardson, Housing & Economic Development Director Archie Liston, Mercer County Prosecutors Office, chutzpah, Minacapelli, a word used only once in 25 years here, and so much more. The LEGO Art World costs about $250 online. Just saying. L.A. Parker is a Trentonian columnist. Find him on Twitter @LAParker6 or email him at [email protected].