Christmas! Hanukkah! The battle rages on! OK, fine, it’s not really a “battle,” but it is kind of fun as today is both Christmas and the first night of Hanukkah. Translation: Jewish kids will have something to talk about with their friends tonight as they compare their Holly Hobbie playsets or whatever the heck the presents du jour are this year and yes, I know it’s not Holly Hobbie, leave me alone. But yes: I do get a kick out of comparing Christmas and Hanukkah. Now: Before the angry letters start coming in, I realize there is no comparison between Christmas and Hanukkah when it comes to the actual religious significance of the two holidays. Christmas celebrates the birth of Jesus Christ, which — and remember, I’m both A) Jewish and B) not a theologian — I’m pretty sure is pretty darn important. Hanukkah, on the other hand, celebrates the rededication of the Holy Temple in Jerusalem, which ain’t nothing, but it’s also not the birth of the Son of God. So yes: On religious grounds, it’s a first-round knockout. But on gift-giving grounds? Well, it’s a lot closer. Now understand, I have celebrated both holidays in my life, as my wife isn’t Jewish. We do everything on the holidays as a result. I’ve seen the eight crazy nights method of gift giving, I’ve seen the Christmas morning method of gift giving, and when I weigh out all the pros and cons, I have to say … it’s a toss-up. Eight nights of Hanukkah gifts has its charms. There’s the build-up, the anticipation, the knowledge that even if tonight’s gift is socks, tomorrow might bring that LEGO Death Star you’ve been dreaming about. It’s like a slow-drip IV of dopamine for a week plus a day. But Christmas morning? That explosion of wrapping paper, that mad dash to the tree, that sensory overload of getting everything at once? It’s like mainlining joy directly into your soul. It’s legit magical. And then there’s the decorations. Let’s call it a tie. Sure, a menorah is beautiful in its simplicity, but it’s really no match for a decorated Christmas tree or a “Christmas Vacation”-esqe house that’s all twinkled up. So why the tie? No risk of electrocution, no ladders needed on the Jewish side. The food? Another tie. Latkes vs. Christmas cookies. That’s like trying to choose between your children. (My favorite child, by the way, is [redacted].) But you know what the best part is? Having both. My kids get the best of both worlds, and they’ve learned to appreciate the different ways people celebrate, the different traditions, the different meanings behind it all. They understand that some people do this, some people do that, and some people – like us – do both. They also get a ton more presents. And really, that’s what makes America great (not the presents part, the other part). We can all celebrate our own holidays, respect each other’s traditions, and maybe even participate in them if we’re lucky enough to be invited. So while Christmas might win on religious significance and decorative prowess, and while Hanukkah might have the edge when it comes to fried foods and preventing ladder-related injuries, in the end, it doesn’t matter. What matters is family, tradition, and the joy of celebration — whether it comes all at once or spread out over eight crazy nights. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go spin a dreidel while singing “All I Want for Christmas Is You.” Happy everything, everyone.