Assclown Alert is a column of opinion, analysis and snark. Amid Gov. Greg Abbott’s latest bilious bouts of border bluster, it might have been easy to overlook his recent spate of tweets congratulating himself for turning Texas’ education system into the pride of the nation. "Texas continues to be a leader in education success because we prioritize the needs of our students,” the Republican governor boasted Dec. 22 on X. In a subsequent tweet, he went on to brag that he’d "provided more funding for education and pay raises than any governor in state history."