'Twas three weeks before Christmas, and all through Vermont We were so tired of the same Christmas schlock. From Griswolds to Grinches to another Christmas Carol, TV options were stale as a tin popcorn barrel. And I on the couch, dog in my lap, Had just settled in for some more Christmas crap, When what to our wondering ears should appear But rock-and-roll Santa spreading holiday cheer? On, Swale! On, Matt Hagen! On, Kat Wright and Brett Hughes! On, Wizards of Winter ripping metal riffs, too! Here's a John Denver tribute, plus Vince Guaraldi. You love you some Nutcracker? Yeah, we've got that, times three. Away to the box office I flew like a flash, Tore open my wallet and threw down some cash. What to do this yuletide? Friends, you're in luck. Here's a sackful of holiday shows that don't suck. Christmas Stars Holiday music extravaganzas In the canon of TV Christmas specials, star-studded spectaculars are a rich and varied perennial. Singing celebs have long helped make the season bright, from the Rat Pack's swingin' Christmases; to Stephen Colbert trading tunes with John Legend, Feist and Toby Keith; to Pee-wee Herman making merry at his Playhouse with Charo, Frankie Avalon and k.d. lang. The Vermont music scene has its own equivalents. Backed by an all-star collection of locals, musical polymath Matt Hagen unveils his new original holiday album, Matt Hagen's Christmas Bath, with a show at Nectar's in Burlington on Wednesday, December 18. Read more next week about that record, which includes contributions from singer Grace Potter, Phish drummer Jon Fishman and rocker James Kochalka. Among the longer-running local holiday showcases is A Very Hairy Swalemess, hosted by local art-rock band Swale since 2017. The quartet performs Christmas tunes both classic and obscure and serves as the backing band for the likes of Craig Mitchell and Francesca Blanchard. (It ain't Christmas in Burlington until Ryan Ober and Jason Cooley do Run-D.M.C.'s "Christmas in Hollis.") This year's Swalemess hits on Sunday, December 22, at the Light Club Lamp Shop in Burlington. A fresh tradition may be born unto the Capital City this season. On Saturday, December 7, the Montpelier Performing Arts Hub hosts the Slaphappy Santa Christmas Spectacular. The benefit for the newly opened community venue features a 14-piece big band, led by trumpeter and bandleader Brian Boyes, playing blues, swing and rock renditions of holiday favorites…