No empty seats at the table, at Trans Day of Remembrance. Simon: "I'm not inherently political." There were no empty chairs around the New Haven Pride Center’s communal dinner table, though there were missing people.In honor of Trans Day of Remembrance on Wednesday, the Pride Center’s monthly ​“Pass the Plate” dinner honored trans victims of murder with photographs and chosen names — alongside a commitment to friendship, nourishment, and enduring community through challenging times.Eighteen-year-old Simon didn’t know about Trans Day of Remembrance before showing up at Wednesday’s dinner. They came because they simply love attending the Pride Center’s communal dinners, though they were glad to know that such a day exists. Many trans people, Simon pointed out, are remembered in tombstones and obituaries that reject their chosen names or gender identities. ​“They deserve to have their names read” as they are, Simon said.The dinner, sponsored by Mr. Loves A Lot of the service-minded kink organization Mr. and Ms. Connecticut Leather, featured the names and images of trans victims in a slideshow, a poster, and tiny framed photographs throughout the community center. There was Pauly Likens, a 14-year-old animal lover and aspiring park ranger from Pennsylvania; she was killed and dismembered in a horrific murder this past June. There was Meraxes Medina, a 24-year-old makeup artist based in Los Angeles, who never had the chance to find a long-term home, having been kicked out years ago by her family; she was shot and killed on the street in March. There was Tayy Dior Thomas, a shy, dimpled 17-year-old twin from Alabama; her alleged boyfriend killed her with 18 gunshots, leaving dried tears visible on her face. Their names and images were displayed in a slideshow, a poster, and tiny framed photographs throughout the community center on Wednesday.On a communal poster imploring ​“Protect Trans Lives,” attendees left both mournful and hopeful messages for one another. One note, signed Madison T., read: ​“Be who you are!! Your beautiful inside and out!!! Love you!!!”According to the Humans Rights Campaign, at least 30 trans people have been violently killed in the country thus far in 2024. Over three quarters were people of color — over half were specifically Black trans women — and at least 40 percent were misgendered or misnamed after their death by media outlets or law enforcement. This year — in which anti-trans laws, book bans, and campaign ads have made headlines again and again, in tandem with a rise in anti-trans hate that has particularly affected schools — has left Simon feeling ​“tired.”“I just want to fucking live,” said Simon — a demand that shouldn’t be ​“inherently political.”A sense of collective exhaustion guided the Pride Center’s decision to focus Trans Day of Remembrance on an opportunity for connection and community.“Growing up in Puerto Rico, when we lost someone, we would gather around food,” said Pride Center Director Juancarlos Soto. A meal can help build a sense of togetherness. ​“It’s really hard to sit at a table with food and just be silent.”That feeling is what has brought Darnell Ray back to the Pride Center on a regular basis after stopping by for the first time in April. He hadn’t previously known many other queer people, and hadn’t always felt an easy acceptance of his gay identity. ​“What brings me here is the community,” he said. ​“I feel really, really happy and proud to be here.”On Soto’s mind was Maia Leonardo, who died unexpectedly three years ago at the age of 28. Leonardo had been Soto’s colleague, the Pride Center’s marketing and development coordinator. She was a fervent activist, profoundly committed friend, adoring cat mom, and an imaginative artist. A portrait of her hangs by the entrance of the Pride Center’s home base, which Leonardo did not have a chance to see. ​“We think about her every day,” Soto said.Leonardo’s memory, and the memory of too many others, are reminders to Soto of the need for a gathering table.“The fight for trans rights,” Soto said, ​“starts in rooms like this.”The Trans Lifeline is available +1 – 877-565‑8860 Monday through Friday, from 1 PM – 9 PM Eastern time. Thrive, a trans-led and operated text line, is available at +1 (313) 662‑8209 24/7.Maia Leonardo has a permanent spot by the Pride Center's front door, honored in a collage called "In Darkest Night" donated by Lena Fin. Erycka Ortiz, Alyssa-Marie Cajigas Rivera Ortiz, and Juancarlos Soto.