For all you fight fans out there, here comes the once-in-a-lifetime offer. Here’s the chance to watch an old man (Mike Tyson age 58, and past his prime) battle an “influencer” (Jake Paul, age 27, cue the stink face) on the streaming service Netflix. On Friday, November 15 from the AT&T Stadium (home of the Dallas Cowboys), one of the two will be brutally stopped because that’s what happens when an egg hits a brick wall. Can’t figure out who’s the egg and who’s the brick wall. You all want to see it, because of the possibility of blood and mayhem. Plus, everyone wants to see an “influencer” get his comeuppance. You may want to observe this eight, two-minute round “fight,” but not me. In fact, here are the five reasons why I will not be watching Tyson vs. Paul even though I have Netflix. REASON ONE Friday, November 15, the date of this buffoonery, is my date to wash my scalp. Since most of my hair disappeared over 10 years ago, it’s hard to schedule to wash said pate with all the writing and traveling that I do. It takes precise planning to go to ShopRite to buy non-hair products and to remember what to buy from memory. REASON TWO Seriously, boxing has become more and more of a freakazoid attraction. Remember back in 1976 when heavyweight champ Muhammad Ali “fought” wrestler Antonio Inoke? Or when former heavyweight boss George Foreman faced five opponents (Boone Kirkman, Charlie Polite, Terry Daniels, Jerry Judge and Alfonso Johnson) all in one night in Toronto on April 26, 1975. How about when pound-for-pound great Floyd Mayweather, Jr. faced MMA superstar Conor McGregor; he of no professional bouts on August 26, 2017. On October 28, 2023, WBC heavyweight champ Tyson Fury battled in a non-title bout (doesn’t exist in the heavyweight division) against former MMA heavyweight champ Francis Ngannou, he of no pro fights Even heavyweight champ Floyd Patterson went the freak route in 1957 when he fought 1956 Olympic champion Pete Rademacher, he also with no professional bouts under his belt. The best hardly fight the best anymore. It’s rare when Oleksandr Usyk challenges Fury or Mayweather finally fights Manny Pacquiao (after a long wait). In the meantime, we get a freak show. Ali survived against Inoki with a draw. Mayweather did away with McGregor in 10 while Fury survived a third-round knockdown and won a controversial 10-round split decision. And to show that boxing was not their strength, the WBC ranked Ngannou tenth with a 0-1 record. He promptly got stopped in two rounds by former champ Anthony Joshua last March 8 in his very next bout. Even an embarrassed Patterson had to get off the deck in round two to stop Rademacher in six. Why does the sport lower itself to such tomfoolery? Tyson hasn’t won a fight since 2003 against Clifford Etienne which was his last win by kayo. His last two fights were knockout losses at the hands of Danny Williams (Who?) and Kevin McBride (Who? 2.0) in 2004 and 2005, respectively. He lost those two fights when he was 38. So, now he wants to continue fighting 20 years later? Against an “influencer?” Remember, when Tyson captured the heavyweight crown in 1986 and became the youngest man to capture the heavyweight championship? Ronald Reagan was in the midst of his second term as president of the United States. Paul’s eleven wins are against some glittering names you may recognize like three-time NBA Dunk champ and former Knick Nate Robinson, 45-year old Anderson Silva, the former UFC middleweight champ, former U.S Olympic wrestler Ben Askren and names only a family would remember like AnEsonGib, bare knuckle champ Mike Perry and first-round knockout losers Andre August and Ryan Bourland. Related Articles Sports | Jets Mailbag: A look at possible head coach and GM replacements for ’25 Sports | NFL Week 11 Bettors Guide: Counting on the Packers to continue historic dominance of Bears Sports | Devils get 3 power play scores, top Panthers 6-2 to finish sweep of Cup champs Sports | Mika Zibanejad, Jimmy Vesey and Vincent Trocheck score in 2nd period as Rangers beat Sharks Sports | Hey now! Dave Sims replacing John Sterling in Yankees’ radio booth REASON THREE I abhor mismatches in boxing, and this takes the cake. If 58-year old Tyson beats Paul, everyone will say yep, Paul is just an “influencer.” If Paul beats the 58-year old Tyson, everyone will say yep, he should have stayed retired. The good folks at Netflix are marketing the “fight” as something the world has been waiting for. I’ve been waiting for Godot like everyone else, but for this mismatch we could have waited forever. It’s odd how the promotional campaign for the fight has Paul beating people from this century, while Tyson’s highlights are 35-years old from the previous century. Most of you reading this piece weren’t even born when Tyson fought. While the promotional clip for the fight shows Tyson kayoing Trevor Berbick (1986), Michael Spinks (1988) and Carl “The Truth” Williams (1989) is exciting, all these fights took place last century. Raise your hand if you were born after these fights. Netflix is boasting, “There’s never been a fight this big!” Really? Ali-Frazier I, II and III skipped your mind? Mayweather-Pacquiao ring a bell? The billing in the advertising is “Paul vs. Tyson.” Shouldn’t the former heavyweight champ of the world get top billing? And “This is no ordinary fight” and “This is the fight the world’s been waiting for.” Yeah, and I’ve been waiting for next week’s Lotto numbers. REASON FOUR I must admit I will be watching Netflix before the so called “main event.” The leadup to Tyson-Paul is an excellent rematch, a real fight between undisputed lightweight champ Katie Taylor (23-1 with six knockouts) against  Brooklyn’s reigning undisputed featherweight champ Amanda “Real Deal” Serrano (47-2-1 with 31 kayos). Their bout in 2022, a split decision win for Taylor at Madison Square Garden, was a classic regardless of sex. This bout is the prime example of the best fighting the best in a rematch that had the best fighting the best the first time. The men could learn a thing or two watching these women go at it. If you are a fight fan or enjoy athletic competition, Taylor-Serrano II is for you. Their first bout was superb, exciting, thrilling … everything that Tyson-Paul pretends to be, but will not. Taylor-Serrano II needs no frivolous hype. It is stand-alone good. When their bout is over, I’ll have a beer in their honor, turn off the TV and head to my bed and have a good night’s sleep. I’ll check the final outcome in the morning. Hopefully, there won’t be a fatality from Tyson-Paul. REASON FIVE The sports world, just like the real world, seems to have become more and more dense. Stupid is probably the better word. They believe anything as long as someone says it and people are convinced that we need this so-called legitimate fight. There is no winner in this bout. It is a lose-lose proposition. Boxing is a blood sport, not to be trifled with. You play baseball, you play football, you don’t play boxing. Boxing is littered with real life tragedies. The ring deaths of Bernie “Kid” Parent, Kim Duk-koo and Beethaeven Scottland are a few that come to mind. Fight fans clamor for the best to fight the best but don’t get long-awaited matchups between Canelo Alvarez vs. David Benavidez or Canelo’s rematch versus Dmitry Bivol, who beat him in 2022, or a lightweight showdown between Gervonta “Tank” Davis vs. Shakur Stevenson. Instead, we get the train wreck of all train wrecks: Tyson vs. Paul. An old man, past his prime who had to postpone the fight due to ulcers, versus a dreaded “influencer” with no boxing skills, but a nice beard. Many will watch this nonsense because a train wreck is a train wreck especially when you know where and when the disaster is going to take place. And that place is Netflix. Enjoy!