Oh, you silly, silly, silly, silly ultra-progressive women. So silly. Here’s the deal, in case you haven’t heard: Apparently there’s this “4B” movement going on, where a bunch of young liberal women are swearing off marriage, dating, sex, and even having kids — all because Donald Trump won the election. It started in South Korea, according to a Telegraph article, where they call it the “four nos” — no dating, no sex with men, no marriage, and no children. On top of that, these ladies are ditching makeup and avoiding any kind of social interaction with the opposite sex. As one ‘activist’ put it, “Men will NOT be rewarded, nor have access to our bodies.” The women are furious that Trump got his Supreme Court picks through, which led to the end of federal abortion protections. And they’re ticked that he’s prevented another female presidential candidate from making it to the Oval Office. So their big plan is to “give America a severely sharp birth rate decline” and “bite back” at the system, one of the 4B’ers wrote on X. And it’s not just happening in the US — this call to arms is going global. The 4B movement is apparently sparking spikes in Google searches in places like Turkey and Malaysia. Women in India, Pakistan, Egypt, and Brazil are all jumping on the bandwagon too. Pardon me while I go roll my eyes straight out of my head. Look, I get that these ladies are mad, but this is ass-backwards, mostly because men will do anything to get women, well, ass-backwards. Seriously, my super progressive lady friends: You want to win the hearts, minds, and votes of young men who are Trump voters? Sleep with ‘em. Seriously: When I was 20 years old, I would’ve voted for Hitler if Stephanie (no last name provided to protect the innocent) took me to bed and told me to do so. Men — and I speak as one — are the simplest creatures on Earth. We’ll do just about anything for the nookie, especially when we’re young and stupid. Throwing away a vote is nothing. Trust me. Honestly, the big plan for these women should be to pinpoint would-be GOP voters, zero in on them, offer to (bleep) them on Election Day 2028 provided they show proof of their vote. This is all too easy. Of course, I’m kidding. In no way should anyone be trading sex for votes. (Well, probably not anyway.) But withholding sex for votes — I can promise you — will not work. It’s insane. Even more insane is the “not having kids” bit of this. As you readers may be aware, men cannot have babies. Only women. And if progressive women decide not to have babies, then in 20 years when the next generation of voters go to the polls, they will all be the sons and daughters of non-progressive people. How do you think that’s gonna go? Listen, I’ve got no dog in this fight, I’m not out in the streets trying to find a woman, but goodness me: This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Good luck, super progressives. You’re going to need it.