HAAAA ha! SF-based satire site The Onion bought Alex Jones’s misinformation cesspool InfoWars in a bankruptcy auction, and plans to mock the old incarnation of InfoWars as another satire site. The deal was aided by parents of the Sandy Hook shooting, who agreed to give up some of their settlement money if the sale went to The Onion. [NPR]SFPD arrested 24-year-old Denayaha Duree in last month’s car-ramming smash-and-grab at the Union Square Dior store, and she’s in custody. But clearly there are additional suspects still at large, as three cars total were involved in the heist. [Chronicle] While the SFUSD managed to pass that $800 million school bond on the November 5 ballot, parents and fiscal hawks are concerned that it’s a “blank check” that can be spent in  any way the district pleases. That said, the money can be used to prevent those school closures that are in limbo, and that would certainly please some parents. [Examiner]The rumor mill has the Giants possibly trading LaMonte Wade Jr., Mike Yastrzemski, and closer Camilo Doval, which is awkward, as some of those guys were teammates of new Giants president of operations Buster Posey. [SFGate]Welp, we have our first scandal of the new Trump administration, as Attorney General nominee Matt Gaetz is facing sworn testimony from a woman who said he had sex with her when she was only 17. [ABC News]Joke pop personality Rebecca Black has been scheduled to play a DJ set at December’s version of Downtown First Thursdays on December 5, though regrettably, this is not on a ‘Friday.’ Either way, partyin', partyin', fun, fun, fun, fun. [Chronicle]Image: Joe Kukura, SFist