It’s the Mercury’s Guide to the HOHOHOLIDAYS!
Nov 14, 2024
Featuring advice you need to navigate thehighs and lows of the holiday season.
by Wm. Steven Humphrey
With election season in the rearview, it’s time to focus on the next upcoming traumatic event: THE HOLIDAYS. (Seriously, can we just have one 10-minute break from *waves arms frantically* everything??) Let’s face it: As joyful and fun as they can be, the holidays are also exhausting and take a lot of physical and emotional effort. That said, there are ways to get through the holiday season with your sanity intact, but it does take some brain training—and that’s exactly what we’re aiming to help you do with our annual Mercury holiday guide! (Pick yours up in print at more than 500 locations across Portland!)
That’s right, we’ve got lots of solid, no-nonsense advice gathered by the Mercury’s best writers and Portland’s top experts. Here’s just a sneak peek at some of the articles that can provide a lot of mental solace this holiday season:
Holidays for Humans: Let’s just say what everyone’s thinking: Aunt Barbara is a bitch. So when Barb—or any overbearing relative—insults your turkey day gravy, or says something that makes you want to curl up in a ball under the sink, how should you react? The hilarious and wise Courtenay Hameister has some hilarious and wise advice (with help from two qualified therapists) on how to answer that question, and take care of oneself during the holidays.
Zen and the Art of Holiday Pet Sitting: Alone on the holidays? THAT’S OKAY. In fact, despite what every media source, social media platform, and advertisement is trying to sell you, “togetherness” during the holidays—particularly during the Christmas season— is not the answer for everyone. In this sweet, smart piece, our Lindsay Costello documents her family estrangement, and how pet sitting for traveling friends offered her a furry and cute path to enlightenment.
Let’s Start Things! Let’s End Things!: Don’t know about you, but my New Year’s plans include spiraling down a mental rabbit hole of mistakes I made during 2024 and how 2025 isn’t looking much better. Thank goodness then for this particularly sharp article from HR Smith, who shares their ideas for stopping things (unhealthy habits) and starting things (like a creative project that will fill you with energy and hope)—and it’s jam-packed with great advice from four true experts in their fields: two therapists, one artist, and a witch.
Or maybe you’re one of the 0.001 percent of Portlanders who are like, “My mental health is absolutely FINE, thankyouverymuch,” and the only help you need are what types of gifts to buy for friends and loved ones. To that I’d say, “congrats on that being your only problem and I have no resentment toward you, like, at all” AND that you’re doubly lucky the Mercury has tons of gift-giving ideas! For example: Look, you’ll be going to the airport at least once, if not multiple times over the next few months… so why not be like the smart and prepared Suzette Smith who has a lineup of thoughtful, interesting gifts you can find at the newly refurbished Portland International Airport?
And if you’ve got someone on your list who spends a lot of time in the kitchen (or perhaps stabbing people?), check out Andrea Damewood’s terrific, and highly researched article on the best KNIVES for the foodie in your life. (We trust you won’t gift a knife to the wrong person.) And if your loved one is an audiophile who loves vinyl, we have not one but TWO articles from Jenni Moore and Corbin Smith that have some top-notch vinyl suggestions for those record lovers in your life. Don’t know where to start looking for prezzies? In our annual gift guide you’ll find poop-tons of inventive, cute, and highly sought-after products from some of Portland’s best small businesses—who you should ABSOLUTELY support this season and for the coming year!
For some, snackin’ and boozin’ are the true reasons for the season, and not only do we have a thirst-quenching roundup of holiday beers, but also an eye-popping list of the some of the best sweets that Portland has to offer, and where to snap them up! Or if it’s events you crave, then don’t miss my “critical review” of some of the city’s best holiday happenings, and (because my opinions just won’t stop) how they can be improved. And as usual, our EverOut calendar team has compiled the ultimate list of holiday picks that can’t be missed. And all that’s on top of our regular Mercury offerings including news, comedy, fun, AND a year-end wrap-up of the trashiest gossip of the year courtesy of Elinor Jones and The Trash Report!
Swear to baby Jesus, anything you’re looking for in regards to making it through the coming season is right here in the Mercury’s Holiday Guide! Look for it at more than 500 spots around the city, and never forget: In 2025 and beyond, the Mercury is here to entertain and inform you of the best our city has to offer—and that, my friends, is the gift we intend to keep on giving.
Happy holidays from all your Mercury pals and me,
Wm. Steven Humphrey
Editor-in-Chief
Portland Mercury
(he/him)