My Grandmother Makes Mean Comments on My Weight
Nov 06, 2024
Dear Reverend, Even though I am working toward getting thin and have lost a lot of weight, my grandma makes comments to me such as "You are never going to be thin" and "Others your age are so thin." How do I make her stop? Shrinking Violet (woman, 16) Dear Shrinking Violet, I was raised to respect my elders, but I've learned that respect is a two-way street. I'm sure you love your grandma, but it sounds like she's being a real jerk. She should know better than to speak to anyone in such a way, let alone her own granddaughter. Being an adult doesn't give anyone the right to be rude. Do your parents hear the things your grandmother says to you? If not, you need to tell them and let them know how she's making you feel. I'd hope that one or both of them would inform her that her behavior is absolutely unacceptable. If your parents do hear your grandmother insulting you and don't do anything about it, that's not cool either. In that case, you may want to talk to someone else — like a trusted aunt, uncle, teacher or guidance counselor — about the situation. There's no need to feel weird or embarrassed about asking for help. If you'd rather tackle the problem on your own, set clear boundaries with your grandmother. The next time she makes a rude remark to you, don't get upset. Calmly say something like, "That comment really hurt my feelings, and I would appreciate it if you wouldn't say such things to me." Doing this may open the door to a conversation with your grandmother about how her words affect you. If that happens, be honest with her and get it all out. However, if she continues to be inconsiderate, keep shutting her down as soon as she starts. Side note on being thin: It's not all it's cracked up to be. I've been as skinny as a twig and as thick as a log. Whatever size your body is, it's always carting around the same brain. Keeping that happy and healthy is really the key to everything in life. Good luck and God bless, The Reverend…