A warning, amigos. This weekend’s trail ride through Santa Clarita Valley history is not for the faint-hearted.  No.  That doesn’t mean you get to smack your lips in nubile satisfaction, roll over and go back to leg-locking your bunk pillow.  I’ve got 10,000-plus fine steeds waiting outside and we’ve some adventuring ahead.  There’s gunfights, the Indian “Mickey Finn” and the first Hart-Valencia game — in 1954. Yup. You heard me. One-Nine-Five-Four in the mid-20th century. We’ll be investigating local giant hairy monster sightings and searching for The Junk Food Felon. We’ll even hear the last words of the last man to go into the Governor Mine.  WAY, WAY BACK WHEN   THE INDIAN DATE RAPE DRUG — Local Indian historian O.L. “Pop” Morgan noted that back in the Indian days, the SCV was at the crossroads of several major trade routes. It was also considered a mecca where sick Native Americans came to be cured. Besides the variety of warm and/or sulfur springs in the area, the Santa Clarita was a Garden of Eden for a variety of rare plants and herbs. A certain concoction was banned from use by the local Tataviam and Chumash. It affected the nervous system and was the ancient precursor to the old “Mickey Finn.” Boiled into a tea and consumed, it made the patient/victim powerless against any sexual advances — by man or woman. If anyone was caught making the potion, they were banned from the tribe for life.  THE LOCAL CONNECTION TO THAT FAMOUS WORLD WAR II PHOTO — Pop Morgan has another interesting connection to history. A quarter Cherokee and raised on an Oklahoma reservation as a boy, later, he wrote two authoritative books on his tribe. But he was even more noted for having Ira Hayes in his classroom for three years. Ira was the Native American made famous in that photograph of the raising of the American flag on Iwo Jima.  A PINCH MORE NATIVE AMERICAN TRIVIA FOR YOU — Pops Morgan also noted that a Cherokee first graduated from college before we had an American president who had graduated from college.  YAY!! WE MADE NO. 1!!! —  Albeit for dubious reasons. In the late 19th century, the road leading from Newhall to Ventura (today, Highway 126) was dubbed “… the worst road in the state” by The Ventura Weekly Free Press.  HOW OLD IS NEWHALL ELEMENTARY, ACTUALLY? — There has been much hoopla about Newhall Elementary being founded in 1878. Actually, in 1877, forty-seven locals signed their name to a document creating the first Newhall Elementary School. Interestingly, it opened in a refurbished bunk house near where Walmart is today. What makes that interesting is that of all the places to open that first school, they picked that Pico Canyon location. Just west, down the road, was the Felton School District. Of course, that was limited to oil field worker children.  ANCIENT POSTAL TRIVIA — Only the old-timers will remember Ravenna. It’s still on the maps, but there’s not a trace of it. It was a thriving community of about 1,000 souls, about halfway between present-day Acton and Agua Dulce. George Gleason was the first postmaster and served from 1868 to 1869. He earned a TOTAL of 57 cents for his year’s work. That post office, by the way, was originally called “Ravena City.” It closed in 1871 and reopened under the correct spelling of “Ravenna” in 1876. The new name didn’t help. The post office closed — again — a year later. It reopened in 1878 but this time, managed to stay open all the way to 1895.  SHEEPISH STATISTICS — Just mention sheep and that’s a fighting word in most places where cowboys dwell. We used to graze cattle by the tens of thousands here. But, toward the end of the 19th century, that number dipped to around 2,000 valleywide. In contrast, there were an estimated 10,000 sheep here in the 1890s.  SUN DRIED FRUIT. NOT A BAND NAME. — One of Newhall’s biggest businesses in the 1890s was the Earl Fruit Co. It had a sun-dried fruit operation on the other side of the Newhall Train Depot. It was forced out of business by Ventura farmers who used a more modern fire-drying technique.  AND THEY SHOULD BE VISITING US RIGHT ABOUT … NOW!! — Former Signal Editor Ruth Newhall went by the name of MIMI when she wrote her gossip column. Her research showed that the winds of October got their name from St. Ann — the Santa Anas.  OCTOBER 26, 1924  WHICH WITCH? — Now we do know that on this date, Don Sackrider died. He was a local mechanical engineer and vet of World War I. Interestingly, one of his distant relatives was pressed to death at the Salem Witch Trials. Odd coincidence? Former Signal Editor Jeanne Feeney was related to Sackrider, meaning her great-great-etc. great aunt to the Nth power was also executed as a Salem witch.  HOPE HE WENT QUICKLY — H.A. Rockwell met a fiery death on one of the local oil fields. He was sitting in a big oil tanker when the thing blew up.  OCTOBER 26, 1934  BOYS WILL BE BOYS — This is one of those lazy trail rides through history. One of the top news stories of the week was about how an ambulance came screaming through downtown Newhall and stopped at one of the homes off the main drag. The driver and an attendant sprinted out of the meat wagon. They opened the back door and pulled out a stretcher with a man covered head to toe in bloody bandages. His wife came running out of the house and to her horror, the driver and his able assistant unceremoniously dumped the body on the front lawn, then roared away. The bandaged fellow struggled and swore. His wife managed to place hands on her hips and declare: “You big bum.” Later reports was that this might have been the last time the guy went out drinking with his buddies.  DEATH CAME CALLING — On a not-so funny note, there were five traffic fatalities this week in history in the Santa Clarita.  HIGH STEAKS — So TWENTY years ago, Tres Sierras Market moved from present-day Main Street to a huge new location on Lyons. Ninety years ago, there was a market on the same location. It was called Safeway & Piggly Wiggly. Top sirloin steaks went for just a quarter a pound back then. Geez. Here’s a buck. Give me a 4-pounder …  MULTI-TASKING — Times were tough during the Great Depression. Many folk worked several jobs to make ends meet. Jerry Blowers may have had the biggest stretch in careers. Not only was he the town barber, but he also operated an employment agency out of his shop.  OCTOBER 26, 1944  NOT EXACTLY HUNTING BUDDIES — One could fill several novels with the dark mishaps of self-inflicted gunshot wounds, hunting accidents and down-right stupidity. Daniel Chandler had come out to Rabbit Lake to shoot ducks. He got into a quarrel with two men and they unloaded their shotguns into him, leaving two holes as big as dinner plates.   FIRST RULE OF GUN SAFETY? DON’T SHOOT ANYBODY. — Deputy Allen Greer ended up a bit luckier than poor old Dan Chandler. Greer was driving toward the Saugus Cafe when he heard the familiar whiz of a bullet pass in front of his face in his moving patrol car. Greer pulled a hasty U-turn and discovered a father-son team in the wash along present-day Newhall Avenue, by the old Wayman Ranch. Dad was sporting the .30-.30 (the bullet that nearly took Greer’s head off). His 10-year-old boy was holding a loaded pistol. The out-of-towner dad confessed he had driven to Newhall to teach his kid firearm safety.  OCTOBER 26, 1954  WITH TWO MOVIE STARS, HART CLOBBERS VALENCIA — On this date, 70 years ago, I was 4. Also? Hart High seriously beat up on Valencia, 26-6. For the record, the gridders were the Tigers from Valencia High in — Placentia. One of the stars for the local Indians was a handsome halfback named Gary Yurosek. He would change his name, move to Hollywood and become the famous actor, Gary Lockwood. Oh. In a town that darn small, there was a second future-famous person on that team: quarterback Joe Kapp. Kapp would later become the answer to a super trivia question: “Who was the only person to play in a Rose Bowl, Super Bowl and the Canadian Grey Cup?” Joe quarterbacked in all three championships, losing each one.  GIF & COYLE — The Newhall Train Depot only had two station managers in its history. First was John Gifford (Newhall’s first citizen). Pat Coyle was the second. He worked until Southern Pacific closed down the Newhall Depot in 1933. Coyle died on this date. He was 85. Coyle and his bride lived in a humble home at the corner of Railroad and Market — the same home where Gifford and his wife had lived.   KNOW THY NEIGHBORS, UP CLOSE — This seems like an innocuous enough item, but it is actually of major historical significance. On this date, Clyde Lovett, a Los Angeles contractor, got approval to build four separate apartment buildings on the corner of Newhall Avenue and 9th Street. The 16 units were the first such major apartment complex in the Santa Clarita Valley. The Signal noted the project would ease the rental shortage in town (usually, at any given time, there were only one or two rentals open in the whole valley). We also mentioned that this would open the door to the valley losing its identity as a village and today, we’re, ahem — blessed — with thousands of apartments, condos and townhouses. Those stalwart 9th Street apartments are still around today, by the way.  FANNIE WAS, AHEM, PACKED — Fannie Sue Jones went to Wayside to visit her boyfriend and ended up staying a smidge longer. The domestic was arrested on a variety of counts, the major ones being a dope peddler and trying to bribe an officer. It got worse for Ms. Jones. After she was nabbed, they searched her home in Los Angeles and found several bundles of heroin.  OCTOBER 26, 1964  LONG TIME GONE — Back in 1900, local miner Francisco Forjas turned up missing. Sixty-four years later, they found him. Well. His skeleton. Local pioneer Annie Briggs identified some of the possessions found in a remote area between Tapia and Charlie canyons. Briggs was 80 at the time. He went for a walk and never returned …  OCTOBER 26, 1974  THE ODDBALL SAFARI FOR A 10-FOOT-TALL HAIRY MAN — The search for the legendary North American Abominable Snowman continued. The High Desert Sasquatch Research Team prepared for a lengthy safari to bring back Bigfoot. They weren’t looking in Oregon or Northern California, but in the backyards of Santa Clarita. The odd posse was comprised of trackers, hunters and people with “psychic powers.” Seems Bouquet Canyon was the hot spot for “paranormal energy readings.”  On the more traditional Human Eye Witness level, a man camping in a trailer said he was chased by a Sasquatch who later returned to upper Bouquet to try and tip over his trailer. The ragtag group of big game hunters and supernatural buffs spent several cold evenings in the hills, looking for the monster.   I remember one guy looked like he stepped out of Soldier of Fortune Magazine. He had about 80 pounds of gear, most of it large-caliber ammo. Not familiar with the rugged SCV terrain, he returned to base camp after a couple hundred yards of hiking to dump some of his payload. They never found the legendary manbeast — Santa Clarita or elsewhere. Yet.  MORE LOCAL BIGFOOT SIGHTINGS — One thing that fueled the Sasquatch hysteria was a series of sightings right on Bouquet Canyon Road. Dozens reported seeing a hairy creature sprinting across the highway into the underbrush. Several motorists locked their brakes and nearly slid off the road in panic. One driver pulled a U-turn and gave chase. He actually captured Bigfooticus Santaclariticus at gunpoint. Turned out it was a teen-ager wearing a moth-eaten gorilla suit, a werewolf mask and a pair of sneakers. The kid and his pal were arrested on a variety of hijinks charges.  THE REAGANATOR vs. THE WILDERNESS — On this date, California Gov. Ronald Reagan plucked both Castaic Lake and our Santa Susanna Mountain Park (today, Towsley Canyon) from a list of parks that would receive state financial help. Together, the two local reserves had asked for $5 million. Reagan gave the ol’ metaphorical hand-cupped-to-the-ear toward the SCV and said: “Wha?”  AS MICK JAGGER ONCE SANG, “… IT’S A GAS-GAS-GAS!” — There was a happy riot at Bill Burdin’s Mobil station on this date in history. Burdin was giving away — as in FREE — gasoline. Folks started wearily passing his station with the big signs announcing “$0.00 PER GALLON” and “FREE GAS!” It was no trick. Burdin had been charged with overpricing and to make his overall prices work out, he gave away the remaining 40,000 gallons of gas at his station. Word quickly spread and folks from all walks and demographics quickly drained the reserves. Burdin was still slapped with a $2,500 fine by the Federal Energy Administration. Gas at that time was about 50 cents a gallon. Burdin had been selling it for 60.  CANYON’S ANTI-HARRY WELCH — Some of you old-timers up Canyon Country way remember Cowboy football coach Chuck Ferraro. Chuck was noted for his temper. On this date, the former UCLA alum was suspended for a week for running onto the Canyon High field during a losing contest, spewing profanity and threatening a referee.  OCTOBER 26, 1984  A CARB-RICH CRIME SPREE — The valley was terrorized by a dangerous desperado. On this date, a burglar dubbed as The Junk Food Felon broke into the Hart High cafeteria and ate a pudding and piece of carrot cake.  SAVING AMERICA’S BIRD — The controversial local veterinarian, Dr. James E. Bullock, made national headlines. Again. He had successfully treated the horse used in the hit film, “The Black Stallion,” using electromagnetic therapy in his Newhall clinic. Bullock was called upon to save the life of Sam, the American bald eagle shot through the wing in Alaska. The eagle had not responded to traditional healing techniques. He left Bullock’s clinic healed.  LAST WORDS? “… BAD AIR …” — Henry T. Gage was the 20th governor of California and a significant entrepreneur in the Santa Clarita Valley. Around the turn of the century, he owned several big gold mines in the valley. His biggest money maker was called The New York and helped fund his run for office. Later, his sons would reopen the New York and rename it The Governor.  On this date 40 years back, that Acton mine was sealed — with a dead man in it. A few days earlier, prospector Roy Madsen had been exploring the sealed-up pit when he was overcome by toxic fumes. Two co-workers tried to reach him but he stumbled. They actually saw him turn blue. His last audible words were: “Bad air.” He stumbled a second time and fell into a 40-foot-deep hole and landed on a ledge. Search & rescue teams from as far away as China Lake tried in vain to reach him, although a few days later, they guestimated the hapless miner was dead. It was far too dangerous to go on to retrieve the body, so, the federal Mine Safety and Health Administration ordered the old gold mine sealed with ol’ Roy still in it.  • • •   Autumn tends to put a bounce in my step and I can think of no finer time, except for maybe certain days in spring, summer and winter, to take a trail ride. Truly appreciate the companionship. I’ll be seeing all you Santa Clarita saddlepals next Sunday with a brand new Time Ranger adventure, and, until then — “¡Vayan con Dios, amigos!   Santa Clarita’s John Boston is the most prolific humor writer and satirist in world history. End of this month? Halloween? His new multimedia site and online store, johnlovesamerica.com launches.  The post The Time Ranger | Witches, Anti-Harry Welch, Bad Air & Bigfoot  appeared first on Santa Clarita Valley Signal.