by Suzette Smith The Mercury provides its readers with interesting and useful news & culture reporting every single day. If you appreciate that, consider making a small monthly contribution to support our editorial team. If you read something you like, something you don't like but are glad to know about, and/or something you can't find anywhere else consider a one-time tip. It all goes in the same pot and it all goes to the editorial team. Thanks for your support! Wake up, Portland! Trump never won the election in 2016, and you fell asleep on your high speed rail trip to visit your family in the Midwest. It only takes an hour and a half to get there now, but the seats are just so dang comfy. Isn't it cool that widespread access to healthcare and subsidized caregiving services have made a lot of your toxic relatives happier and more sane? Do you want something from the snack car? Remember that we booked the plant-based train because its cheaper, and also better for the planet. Let's be real. We're not vegan, but we are frugal as hell, and we like to do the right thing when we're incentivized to do so. What kind of electric vehicle do you think the rental place will give us? IN LOCAL NEWS:• Portland State University professors and students protested last week's layoff notices at the college's Urban Plaza yesterday afternoon. In true PSU fashion, the protest commingled with one that was "in protest of PSU's relationship with Boeing and is in solidarity with Palestine," the Vanguard reported. • In related news, today's wacky things university presidents say story is about Portland State University president Ann Cudd, who went on OPB to discuss the ongoing union contract negotiations and potential layoffs. Cudd actually proposed that increasing class sizes to 25-30 students would be good because "nobody likes to be in a class that only has about 4-5 other students... if you don't show up, you're really noticed." There are 94 faculty who received notice of potential layoff, according to Cudd, and the reason those workers received 8 months advance warning is due to protections in place by previous contract negotiations. In the interview, Cudd made it sound like there could actually be other layoffs because adjunct and tenured faculty don't have the same timelines in their contracts. This is all going on in the midst of contract negotiations with one of the college's major faculty unions, PSU AAUP. A representative from that union says the school has 23 days until the current contract expires, administration has spent nearly 90 hours in bargaining with union representatives, but has thus far only agreed "to 5 tentative agreements on low-level issues like how many copies of the contract to print." Yiiiiikes. • In local elections news, mayoral candidate, "two complaints involving Carmen Rubio yielded no findings of wrongdoing," Mercury news editor Courtney Vaughn reports. "The investigations highlight a rivalry between Rubio’s supporters and those backing Rene Gonzalez." Welp. Five recent campaign finance investigations center around just two mayoral candidates: Rene Gonzalez and Carmen Rubio. Auditors say Rubio's campaign didn't break any rules. The complaints highlight major divides between Gonzalez and Rubio supporters. https://t.co/EMQp09BxRS — Portland Mercury 🗞 (@portlandmercury) October 25, 2024 • Hidden in this week's Hear in Portland music news: Global pop superstar Rihanna has been bumping a song by a Portland-based artist! Singer and DJ, Zyah Belle shared a screenshot of their DM exchange, in which RiRi said, “Just here to remind you to drop this if you haven’t yet! And if you have send me the title so I can put on da repeat squad.” Check out other music release and show news in this week's column. • Reports of East Burnside Mediterranean restaurant Tusk's demise appear to have been greatly exaggerated. The Oregonian explained that a Willamette Week piece earlier in the week jumped the gun when it declared the popular spot's demise, based solely on a terse printer paper door sign. Admittedly this is not an uncommon way to inform customers of bad news. However SoHi Brands (which is what Sortis calls itself now) executive chairman Paul Brenneke said an “equipment issue” delayed kitchen prep on that day. The restaurant remains open, and it remains perfectly reasonable to be skeptical of Sortis / SoHi. IN NATIONAL / INTERNATIONAL NEWS:• Today's headline that reminds me of a sad poem is "Will It All Come Down to Michigan?" which proposes that the US presidential election could hinge on how Mitten-State voters decide. It reminds me of William Carlos Williams' "The Red Wheelbarrow:" so much dependsupon a red wheelbarrow glazed with rainwater beside the whitechickens • Also in REMEMBER, do you recall when everyone thought Beyoncé would appear alongside Kamala Harris at the Democratic National Convention? Well, that's finally happening—at a rally in Houston, Texas, baby—in a moment and one of a handful of states where the star can arguably make the most impact. I would like to take this opportunity to thank Beyoncé for all my successes in life. • Argentina’s police are taking the tragic death of One Direction singer Liam Payne really seriously! The Associated Press reports that "a police special investigations unit went to the Casa Sur hotel Wednesday night on orders from the public prosecutors’ office. Officers seized items including computer hard drives and footage from hotel cameras." Payne died last week after he fell from a third floor hotel balcony. • At the end of September, University of York in England installed a statue of a duck as a memorial to Long Boi, an unusually tall duck that lived by Derwent College. I know it seems like it might not be real, but it appears to be real.           View this post on Instagram                       A post shared by BBC Yorkshire (@bbcyorkshire) • Today in the thing you may have to correct your mom's church friend about at a photo-op in the Bronx llast week, a barber told presidential candidate Donald Trump that the utility bill for his barber shop had increased from $2,100 to $15,000 over the past seven months. While this was allegedly related to the Biden Administration and rising costs, New York Times reports that the bill was actually an error from Con Edison related to the barber shop switching over to a smart meter. But you know, that shit is out there now, so that's what happened. • We have a hot new oldest person in the US, after supercentenarian Texan Elizabeth Francis died this week at age 115.  114-year-old Naomi Whitehead of Pennsylvania is the new oldest US resident. The oldest person on record currently is Tomiko Itooka, a 116 year old who lives in Japan. • Swipes for Daddy fans take note. Erika is making a short film!           View this post on Instagram                       A post shared by Swipes4Daddy (@swipes4daddy) • Going into the weekend, ordering this entrepreneur's hot new product.           View this post on Instagram                       A post shared by Car (@carlylepardcomedy)