by Wm. Steven Humphrey If you’re reading this, you probably know the value of the Mercury’s news reporting, arts and culture coverage, event calendar, and the bevy of events we host throughout the year. The work we do helps our city shine, but we can’t do it without your support. If you believe Portland benefits from smart, local journalism and arts coverage, please consider making a small monthly contribution, because without you, there is no us. Thanks for your support! GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! 👋 Expect a mixture of sun and showers today with a high of 59, with the sun occasionally poking its nose out from behind the clouds the rest of this week. Hmmm... ever notice how, when people draw the sun as a face, they never include the nose? That's something for you to ponder all day. Now let's poke our noses into some NEWS! IN LOCAL NEWS: • After learning that roughly 90 professors were going to be laid off, the Portland State University's professor union protested inside the president's office last Thursday, accusing the administration of punishing teachers instead of taking responsibility for their poor planning and bad budgeting. Kevin Foster has the details.  The Oregon Department of Transportation didn't receive a $750 million federal grant it hoped would help fund its $1.5 to $1.9 billion plan to expand I-5 through central Portland. Critics hope the news will prompt ODOT to rethink the project's scale. https://t.co/FjYsBiXop3 — Portland Mercury 🗞 (@portlandmercury) October 18, 2024 • A bicyclist is dead after being struck by a hit-and-run driver early this morning in Northeast Portland. Police have yet to release any information about the vehicle or the name of the victim.  • Former Secretary of State and presidential candidate Hillary Clinton is scheduled to visit Portland tonight to talk about her newest book (collect all 11) at Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall. Also expected to be in attendance are protesters who "oppose Clinton's long career advancing anti-people foreign policies that still have a deadly impact today,"  "Oh, look... an exhaustive time line of all the scandals. blunders, and power plays of mayoral candidate and commissioner Rene Gonzalez. (And just in time for election season!) A must-read before casting your vote. 👀https://t.co/aveMxY51oX — Portland Mercury 🗞 (@portlandmercury) October 20, 2024 • Good news for local football fans: For the first time since 2012, the Oregon Ducks have reached the #1 spot on the AP college football poll, after Texas fell to Georgia yesterday. No team has held the top spot for more than three weeks this season, so enjoy it while you've got it. And in other Oregon adjacent sports news, former Duck Sabrina Ionescu and the New York Liberty won their first WNBA championship last night after defeating the Minnesota Lynx 67-62 in overtime. It's time for a *very special edition* of POP QUIZ PDX! This week, instead of sassy-ass trivia questions, we're practicing sassy-ass RANKED CHOICE VOTING. Rank hot celebs, sandwiches, members of N*SYNC, and more! 😍https://t.co/mUOe3YZQrJ — Portland Mercury 🗞 (@portlandmercury) October 20, 2024 IN NATIONAL/WORLD NEWS: • Let's kick this section off with a master class in how to deal with hecklers: @nowthisimpact ‘Oh you guys are at the wrong rally. No, I think you meant to go to the smaller one down the street' 💀 #kamalaharris #trump #election2024 ♬ original sound  - NowThis Impact • This weekend, Trump spent the first ten minutes of a weekend rally in Latrobe, Pennsylvania, wistfully complimenting the size of golfer Arnold Palmer's dick. (Nice try, Trump... I'm still not voting for you.) • In yet another embarrassing stunt, Trump allegedly "worked" for a whopping 20 minutes at a Pennsylvania McDonald's over the weekend, as some kind of weird clapback to Kamala Harris' former employment at one of the restaurant's franchises. He was taught how to make fries, and handed them to a few chosen supporters—the McDonald's was closed to the public at the time—while undoubtedly daydreaming about his golf hero's dick. He wins the internet today. pic.twitter.com/XfdczUMgRL — Lawyers, Guns and Money (@LawyersAnd) October 21, 2024 • Meanwhile Elon Musk is, according to an elections law expert, "clearly" breaking the law by giving away $1 million a day until November 5 to Pennsylvania voters for signing a petition saying they support the First and Second Amendments. In this so-called lottery, one "must be a registered voter," UCLA election law professor Richard Hasen said. "So it's either an incentive for someone to vote or it's a reward. And either way, it violates federal law." Conviction would come with a $10,000 fine and up to five years in jail—or as it has been with many of Trump's criminal pals, zero fines and zero jail time.   • Sean "Diddy" Combs has been slapped with seven new civil lawsuits, two from minors who claim they were drugged by the rap impresario and assaulted. At least two unnamed celebrities (👀) were also named in one of the lawsuits.   • And finally... me, trying to make it through the rest of the week. (Thanks for cheering me on!) @grublife_ #typicalphilly #esclatorgirl #fypシ #trendingvideo #viralvideo #philly #wellsfargocenter #shanegillisstandup #barstoolsports  #tosh #danieltoshcomedy #almostthere #fwp ♬ original sound - Grublife_