Kids today, amirite? They’re the worst. But I think they’re the worst because we’re the worst. It’s a big ol’ worst fest. Here’s the deal: Remember when you were like a freshman or sophomore in high school, and all you wanted to do was hang out with your friends? Seriously, by 14 or 15, you’re done with mom and dad. I mean, you still might think they’re OK and you still love them and all, but you’d rather be with your friends. All the time. Without fail. Like, hang out with your friends and literally do nothing, or go pick hundred dollar bills from unicorn snouts with mom and dad, and … well, maybe you’ll do the unicorn thing for a few minutes, but then you’re out of there. And honestly, this is the way it should be. Billions of years of evolution and all. By the time kids are this age, they’re ready to be on their own as much as possible. It’s the way of the world. Except … now it’s getting tougher for kids to do this. Case in point: Six Flags Great Adventure. Remember when you were 14, 15, years old, and you’d go to Great Adventure? Zero chance mom and dad were tailing you around, and chances are, it was a drop off situation, see you later, don’t do anything stupid. Yeah, well, those days are gone. As of last month, there is a chaperone policy at Great Adventure. If you’re under 16, you’ve got to be accompanied by someone at least 21. You can be there during the day by yourself, but once 5 p.m. hits, you’re out unless an adult is with you. And this isn’t a “you guys go have fun, I’m going to sit on this bench for the rest of the night” kind of situation — the chaperone has to stay with the kids. Two quick things: This isn’t the policy across all Six Flags properties, and an email to Six Flags corporate with me wondering why went unanswered. But it’s obvious why they instituted this policy: Because kids are the worst. I’m sure there were kids smoking weed, kids fighting, kids cutting in line, kids acting like imbeciles that caused the park to make this switch. It’s terrible. Terrible because Great Adventure is one of the few places left where — in my experience with my own teenagers — kids still want to go. On top of it, these kids are prime COVID kids — they were 9, 10, 11 years old and locked in their house for a year. Most of them weren’t in school for a year. Some of the most important social growth was happening online instead of in-person. And now they can’t hang at Great Adventure. To be fair, Great Adventure is not alone. Malls across the state and nation have implemented similar policies. Up in Paramus, the Garden State Mall bans anyone under 18 after 5 p.m. on weekends without an adult. I mean, wow. How many times did you hang out at the mall with your friends when you were under 18? Now, at Garden State Plaza — and others — you can’t. Again, it’s because — I’m confident — of a small minority of idiots who ruined it for everyone else. All of this begs the question: Are kids today worse than when we were kids? Short answer: I think so. Probably — and partially — because of us. We’ve all gotten soft when it comes to raising our kids. I know I’m nowhere near as firm with my kids as my parents were with me. I don’t know if this makes me a better or worse parent, but I do think it makes kids think consequences are for losers. On top of that … if you’re a kid in New Jersey, there really aren’t consequences in the eyes of the law, unless you really do something overtly criminal. But … it doesn’t matter. Great Adventure, malls, all places like that should A) hire more security B) jack up prices if need be to cover it and C) let kids be kids. I can’t believe I can’t drop my kids off at Great Adventure, basically. Making my life difficult over here!