HONOLULU (KHON2) -- On Tuesday, Oct. 8, Child & Family Service (CFS), a family-centered nonprofit in Hawai‘i, hosted a sign-waving event to promote awareness and share messages of hope and strength in its aim to raise awareness about domestic violence. In Hawai‘i, this serious issue lurks beneath the surface. This troubling reality affects individuals and families from all walks of life. This experience transcends boundaries of age, race, sex and socioeconomic status. Get Hawaii's latest morning news delivered to your inbox, sign up for News 2 You Christine Fliniau, the Director of East Hawai‘i Programs for CFS, is deeply committed to addressing this challenge. With years of experience overseeing seven domestic violence programs, she plays a vital role in supporting survivors and raising awareness in the community. Fliniau shared, “Here at CFS in East Hawai‘i, I oversee all of our programs. I help implement new programs, write grants for funding and sometimes even step in at our shelter when we have staffing shortages.” Her dedication extends beyond management; she actively participates in community meetings to coordinate responses to domestic violence and tackle housing issues for survivors. The prevalence of domestic violence To understand the depth of the problem, it is essential to look at the prevalence of domestic violence. Fliniau emphasized that this issue does not discriminate. “Domestic violence cuts across all demographics, including socioeconomic status and ethnicity," explained Fliniau. "In Hawai‘i, we see similar rates to the national average, with one in three women and one in four men experiencing domestic violence in their lifetime.” These statistics paint a concerning picture. In East Hawai‘i, CFS has served approximately 22,412 people through their healing from trauma programs, with around 1,425 of those cases specifically related to domestic violence. “What’s alarming is that many cases go unreported due to the shame and stigma surrounding domestic violence. Often, survivors don’t even recognize they are in an abusive relationship,” Fliniau noted. Recognizing the signs of abuse Understanding what constitutes domestic violence is crucial for both survivors and the community. Fliniau explained that domestic violence encompasses more than just physical abuse. “Abusive partners often use isolation as a tactic, cutting their victims off from family and friends. This isolation makes survivors increasingly reliant on their abuser,” she said. Financial abuse is another common tactic. “An abuser might control the finances, even taking away a survivor's access to their own money,” Fliniau stated. This control can manifest in various ways, such as withholding important documents like identification, birth certificates and keys, all of which are necessary for a survivor to regain independence. Fliniau explained that survivors frequently arrive at shelters with little more than the clothes on their backs. “When they come to us, they often lack basic necessities and crucial documents. We assist them in obtaining these essentials, which are vital for building a new life,” she emphasized. Many survivors may not realize the gravity of their situation because they have grown up in environments where domestic violence was normalized. The impact of shame and stigma Shame plays a significant role in the lives of survivors. “Most of the people we serve carry shame, whether they are survivors or perpetrators of abuse,” Fliniau said. Living in an abusive environment creates a state of hyper-vigilance. “When you’re in a constant state of danger, it’s hard to focus on anything but survival,” she continued. Survivors often concentrate on daily needs -- ensuring their children have food, shelter and safety -- making it incredibly difficult to reach out for help. “In many cases, they might not even recognize the abuse because since it has become so normalized in their lives,” Fliniau explained. This sense of normalcy can create a barrier to seeking assistance which often leads individuals to feel trapped in their circumstances. Breaking the cycle of violence Addressing domestic violence requires a comprehensive understanding of its roots. Fliniau pointed out that many abusers grew up in homes where they witnessed violence. “They often lack healthy communication skills, leading them to resort to power and control in their relationships,” she said. This cycle of violence perpetuates itself, making education a crucial component of breaking the pattern. Fliniau believes it is essential to educate families about healthy relationships from an early age. “Teaching children about kindness and respect is fundamental. It starts young -- about how to treat others and that hands are for helping, not hurting,” she explained. By fostering a culture of respect and healthy communication, communities can create an environment where domestic violence is less likely to occur. Fliniau believes that schools and churches play a vital role in this education. “We need to incorporate discussions about healthy relationships into school curriculums. Children should learn what a respectful partnership looks like as they grow older,” she said. Community outreach and support CFS actively engages with the community to raise awareness about domestic violence and its implications. “We’ve conducted presentations in churches and schools to educate congregations and students about the realities of domestic violence,” Fliniau shared. This outreach helps individuals recognize the signs of abuse and understand how to seek help. “Many survivors and those who commit abuse don’t feel comfortable approaching formal organizations like CFS. They often seek help from trusted friends, family members, or community leaders first,” Fliniau explained. By reaching out through these trusted channels, individuals may feel more comfortable discussing their experiences and seeking assistance. Finding help: How to reach out For those who feel trapped in an abusive situation, various avenues are available for support. Fliniau encouraged individuals to reach out to trusted friends or family members or to contact helplines for assistance. “We operate 24/7 hotlines for those in need. The Hilo hotline number is 808-959-8864, and the West Hawai‘i hotline is 808-322-7233. These numbers are not just for shelter admission; they provide vital information and referrals,” she added. Individuals can also visit the CFS office in Hilo at 1045 A Kilauea Avenue for in-person support. “If you’re unsure where to start, just come in. We’re here to help,” Fliniau reassured. Overcoming shame to seek help Overcoming the shame associated with domestic violence can be challenging. Fliniau suggested starting by confiding in someone you trust. “Is there a friend, family member, or even a trusted community member you can share your feelings with? Taking that first step can be incredibly empowering,” she said. She also highlighted the importance of knowing that support is available. “Sometimes, just calling a hotline or reaching out to a trusted individual can help you feel less isolated,” Fliniau advised. “You are not alone, and there are people ready to help you navigate your situation.” Moving forward together Fliniau’s passion for change is evident as she advocates for increased services and funding to address domestic violence. “With one in three women affected, it’s crucial for our community to recognize this issue. Everyone is likely to know someone impacted by domestic violence,” she stated. Creating awareness is essential to fostering a supportive environment for survivors. Fliniau emphasized the importance of community engagement. “We need to encourage conversations about domestic violence in all facets of our society, from schools to workplaces,” she said. A holistic approach to healing Fliniau believes that to truly make a difference, it is essential to work with families as a whole. “We cannot just address survivors in isolation. We also need to consider the children who witness violence and the individuals who commit abuse,” she explained. Breaking this cycle requires comprehensive support for everyone involved. One of CFS’s key initiatives is their Alternatives to Violence program, which provides resources for both survivors and perpetrators. “This program helps survivors apply for temporary restraining orders and offers court advocacy. We also work with those who perpetrate abuse through a 26-week intervention program that emphasizes accountability and healing,” Fliniau shared. Fliniau stressed, “Accountability is critical for healing. It is essential for families to recognize the impact of their actions and work toward positive change.” Building a safer future Domestic violence is a pressing issue that demands our attention and action. By fostering understanding and compassion within our communities, we can create a safe environment for survivors and work towards healing and prevention. Fliniau’s work at CFS exemplifies the importance of community engagement, education and support in addressing this pervasive issue. If you or someone you know needs help, don’t hesitate to reach out. Together, we can make a difference and create a future where everyone can feel safe and supported in their relationships. To access information on CFS services, click here. Get news on the go with KHON 2GO, KHON's morning podcast, every morning at 8 Remember, the first step toward change is often the hardest, but it can lead to a brighter and safer tomorrow.