This morning, dear saddlepals and saddlepal-ettes. We’ve a most splendiferous trail ride ahead into Santa Clarita’s back trails of lore and history.  Too bad we can’t warn some of the folks from old times what lies ahead. We could’ve saved movie icon James Dean at Tip’s before he met his Maker.  Lots of interesting events and vistas to explore this fine fall morning. There’s an entire passel of mooncalf government agencies to go “tsk-tsk” over. We’ve got kissing bugs, piano fires, completely bizarre hunting accidents and, don’t look or we’ll rat you out to your rabbi, priest, minister or medicine man — porn. We’ll also check out the time that famed aviator, Charles Lindbergh, lived on Arcadia Street in Newhall.  So c’mon. Climb up in the saddle. Have someone hand you your aluminum latte sippy cup, pull your hat down and look Western …  WAY, WAY BACK WHEN   IT’S A SOUTHERN THING — The Southern Hotel used to sit just about exactly in the middle of the San Fernando Road/Market Street intersection and was touted in its day as one of the grand hotels of the entire Pacific Coast. It was around for only about 10 years, burning to the ground on Oct. 1, 1888. One of the reasons why it was built was to entertain oil and mining speculators visiting the area to consider investing. Interestingly, the fire occurred shortly after the death of its creator, multimillionaire Henry Mayo Newhall. With the loss of the five-star resort and Newhall himself, the population of the valley plummeted.  DON’T LET THE BED BUGS BITE. NO. SERIOUSLY … — On Oct. 4, 1900, after repeatedly being bit on the mouth by an insect while he slept, famed Pico Canyon oil man Alex Mentry died of complications from pneumonia. The perp is this awful local creature from the tratoma genus.   On the street, the murderer has two names — one disarmingly sweet, the other rather alarming. The beast is called both the “Kissing Bug” or the “Assassin Bug.” It also goes by the moniker of “Bloodsucking Cone Nose.”   It’s not quite an inch long, has this big sucking mechanism coming out of its puss, and, worse, it attacks people at night when they sleep. They sometimes are found in bathtub or sink drains (or Mentry’s bed sheets) and can inflict a painful bite. Or, in Alex’s case, a deadly one.   According to the prestigious Ohio State Entomology Department, usually, these bugs are found outdoors (where, when you think about it, most bugs are found).   They frequent hollowed-out trees, possum and raccoon dens and are usually near wood rat nests. “Indoors,” the report went on, Kissing Bugs “are found in bedding, floor and wall cracks, under furniture, etc.” I know. Another thing to worry about.  DESPITE RISKING BEING CENSORED BY THE GOOFBALL NUMBSKULLS AT THE HART DISTRICT, WE OUGHT TO NAME A STREET, “PENTUCKET” — You “A” history students know that Saugus, California, was named after the birthplace of the spectacularly vibrant land baron Henry Mayo Newhall. The name of “Saugus” comes from the Pentucket tribe of the Algonquin nation. As the story goes, there was a miscommunication from some Pilgrims in the 1600s. The Pilgrims and Indians were standing on a sandy spit of beach. The Puritans wanted to know the Indian name for the general — not specific area — they were in. Chief Montowampate thought he meant where they were standing and said, “Saugus.” The river there was also called, “Saugus,” which is too bad. The Algonquin name was more beautiful falling off the tongue: “Abousett.” Instead of “Saugus,” how does the “Abousett Cafe” sound?  OCTOBER 5, 1924  GUESS IT WAS THE PRE-1960s STRAIGHT SURFER GIRL HAIR LOOK — Mrs. Densmore opened a beauty parlor in her Newhall home on this date. Ladies piled in to get their hair, “bobbed” and “marcelled.” No need. I don’t want to know.  REPLACING A FOND AND LOVABLE COP — It was a regular notice but read by locals with heavy hearts and somber voices. The county Civil Service Commission placed notices throughout Newhall to fill a vacancy for town constable. Ed Brown, the former holder of the office, was ambushed and shot dead by the drunken Gus LeBrun a few weeks earlier.  INSURANCE DODGING HASN’T CHANGED MUCH — Before mandatory car insurance, there wasn’t much of anything to force a careless motorist to pay for repairs or injuries. A Mighty Signal editorial suggested that in order to have a driver’s license or drive a car, the motorist must post a bond and have a special decal on his car to prove it.  LIVE HOT MUSIC? — Live Oaks Canyon off Sand Canyon was a big picnic and camping resort in the 1920s. On this date, a kerosene-powered stove exploded, causing an acre fire in the grounds and burning up part of the wooden dance floor and the entire piano.  OCTOBER 5, 1934  IN A PERFECT WORLD, THE JUDGE WOULD GET WHAT HE DESERVED — You certainly wonder what the holy expletive deleted was going on in the alleged mind of the Los Angeles youth court judge. In a pitiful case, a 15-year-old boy had been raised by Mrs. Bertha Sloan of Sloan Canyon fame for years. The lad had been abandoned by his original mother as an infant and had been declared a ward of the county. A dozen years passed and a woman showed up, claiming to be the boy’s mother. Despite the fact that the lad’s name was completely different and that he was four years younger than the birth certificate she presented, unemployed and homeless, the judge handed the screaming child to the woman. Personally, I think the judge should have been horsewhipped.  LUCKY LINDY LIVES IN NEWHALL — Famed aviator Charles Lindbergh and his wife flew into NIA (Newhall International Airport) on this date. They were mobbed by reporters and hounded about their kidnapped infant. They took off again, headed for Bakersfield and parts unknown. The Lindberghs had friends who lived on Arcadia Street and frequently came into Newhall to hide out from the media’s glare.  RE: LUCKY? — Lindbergh had other nicknames besides, “Lucky.” They were, Slim, Ned and The Lone Eagle.  JUDGES GONE WILD, PART II — Despite the fact that Prohibition was declared illegal by a constitutional amendment, you still needed government blessing to make commercial alcohol. Three local men found this out the hard way when their moonshining operation on the LaSalle Ranch was busted. The Constantino brothers drew sentences of three years of hard labor at McNeil Island prison and a third, Joe Tramena, was slapped with six months. Each also had to cough up the $1,000 fine.  OCTOBER 5, 1944  NOT OUR FIRST RODEO — More signs the war was coming to an end. The historic and world-famous Newhall-Saugus Rodeo was brought back. Instead of being held in the spring, rancher, politician and businessman “Big” Bill Bonelli would host it at his house in November. Bill used to live on what is today the Saugus Speedway.  A QUESTION HE MAY NEVER BE ABLE TO ASK HIMSELF: “WHAT WAS I THINKING?” — I don’t know whether this should be filed in the Amazing Luck or No Discernible Brains departments. A 16-year-old Castaic hunter lived through a freak accident. The boy dropped his hatchet, bent to pick it up and his .22 caliber rifle went off, sending a bullet INTO his ear. The slug rattled around inside his skull, but except for the hearing loss, did no other damage. The kid was able to walk more than a mile home where he was taken to the hospital.  OCTOBER 5, 1954  DRIVING 3,000 MILES FROM THE SCV TO GET TO SAUGUS — On this date, 70 years ago, Saugus High School was founded. OK. Don’t break an ankle running to the computer to pound out a letter to the editor. The Saugus High School in question was in our sister city of Saugus, Massachusetts. Interestingly, the ribbon cutting was on the New England city’s 325th anniversary. A contingent of Saugus, California, residents rode in the Saugus, Massachusetts, parade.  THE COUNTY GETS RICH — The Barnsdall Oil Co., aka Sun Oil, was producing 9,000 barrels of oil a day from 93 wells. Wayside Honor Rancho (today, the maximum-security Pitchess Detention Center in Castaic) was producing about 8,000 barrels a day. Nice chunk of change for the low-down rotten county, which essentially cheated the prison’s previous owner when they bought his property, not telling him there was a fortune in oil under it.  OH DEAR ME AND OUCH — A Los Angeles woman panicked and it cost her a right foot. She was in a car coming down the Grapevine driven by a friend. The driver slammed on the brakes and was about to plow into the car in front. He swerved to the right. The woman got scared and opened the door, sticking her foot out. It got sheared off against the wall of a mountain.  SEPTEMBER 30, 1955  JIMMY ATE PIE. AND MILK. — It sure is a crazy thing for a restaurant to be remembered for, but, on this date, film icon James Dean ate his last meal at Tip’s right before he crashed his Porsche in Central California. Dean, according to the waitress, ate apple pie and had a glass of milk. Nearly 70 years later, Dean is still a cult figure, despite making just three movies (although he earned two Oscars from that total).  OCTOBER 5, 1964  YOUR KNUCKLEHEADED STATE OF CALIFORNIA AT WORK — Heaven bless our pointy-head government. Local congressman Ed Reinecke had been leading a campaign to rid the news racks of smut and spearheaded the confiscation of over $1 million in magazine and paperback porn. Here’s where it gets hilarious. The blue material was being stored in a San Fernando Valley warehouse where the federal government was about to auction the stuff off.  OCTOBER 5, 1974  GIRL SWEAT — America, and Santa Clarita, were entering the early days of equal rights in sports. The two local high schools then, Hart and Canyon, had their fledgling girls programs in tennis and volleyball. Over at College of the Canyons, there wasn’t a single women’s sports program or a single women’s P.E. class offered, nor was there a single women’s P.E. teacher. To be fair, none of the femmes attending COC expressed any interest in either taking an all-girls’ P.E. class or joining a team. There were some co-ed classes and an unofficial girls track team. As for showering, equipment manager Yogi Luster was in charge of handing out towels to sweaty girls — BEFORE they entered the locker room.  OCTOBER 5, 1984  ADIOS TO ONE SMALL NUTJOB OF A BUREAUCRACY — On this date, Gov. George Deukmejian signed a bill killing the controversial Northwestern Los Angeles Resource Conservation District. The little agency with the big name had been an embarrassment for years with its public fistfights and even more public graft. (They even had a certifiable mental patient on the board who had to be signed out to attend meetings!) Except for one vote (Sorry! Don’t know who begged to spare the pork barrel.) the legislation passed unanimously in the state Senate and Assembly. Several locals were on the NWLARCD board over the years.  ALL THESE YEARS? YET TO HIT TWO NUMBERS — Pretty much, the local sages were right. Proposition 37 would pass, creating the state lottery system. It was billed as a miracle fiscal cure for California’s schools. Local educational pundits doubted if much of the millions raised would ever get back to the classroom.  WHEN NOR CAL’S POINT REYES WAS NEXT TO NEWHALL — Alas, this has yet to rub off. On this date, The Mighty Signal, when it was headquartered in Newhall on 6th Street, was used as a location in an ABC TV movie, “Attack on Fear.” The flick was about the tiny Northern California newspaper, the Point Reyes Light, which won a Pulitzer for exposing the controversial drug cult, Synanon. Through the miracle of the camera lens, the little redwood bungalows of The Signal were disguised as the impossibly beautiful backdrop of Point Reyes. While the husband-wife team of Dave and Cathy Mitchell earned the Pulitzer, it didn’t save their marriage. They later divorced. Wonder who kept the trophy?  • • •   As usual, sure had a lot of fun riding with you folks. I’ll be back next Saturday with another exciting Time Ranger adventure and until then saddlepals, Vayan con Dios, amigos!  Santa Clarita’s John Boston is the most prolific humor writer and satirist in world history. End of this month? Halloween? His new multimedia site and online store, johnlovesamerica.com launches.  The post The Time Ranger | Killer Bugs, James Dean & Evil Judges   appeared first on Santa Clarita Valley Signal.