by Wm. Steven Humphrey If you’re reading this, you probably know the value of the Mercury’s news reporting, arts and culture coverage, event calendar, and the bevy of events we host throughout the year. The work we do helps our city shine, but we can’t do it without your support. If you believe Portland benefits from smart, local journalism and arts coverage, please consider making a small monthly contribution, because without you, there is no us. Thanks for your support! GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! 👋 Cloudy clouds will give way this afternoon to sunny sun and a sexy high of 74. OH! And speaking of sexy things, you will not want to miss THE VERY LAST WEEKEND of the HUMP! Film Festival Part Two featuring a whopping 25 brand new, filthy home-grown sex flicks made by lovable pervs just like YOU. But this weekend is your last chance, so grab those tix quick! And now let's grab some lovable, and only slightly pervy, NEWS. IN LOCAL NEWS: • Let's kick off with some kick-ass news: Portland, we've got ourselves a WNBA franchise! 🎉 RAJ Capital, who purchased the Thorns earlier this year, will be the new professional women's basketball team owners, and while the team doesn't have a name yet, the process is underway and fans are expected to be part of the decision-making process. Needless to say, everybody is FREAKING PSYCHED and according to co-owner Lisa Bhathal Merage, the new team will “not only [make Portland] the capital for sports lifestyle, but now the global epicenter for women’s sports.” Once more with feeling: 🎉 The @WNBA's 15th team calls the Rose City home. 🌹🏀 #WelcometotheW pic.twitter.com/7Qqf0igffW — WNBA Portland (@wnbaportland) September 18, 2024 • Say, remember how one of the main purposes of charter reform was to stop local millionaires from buying elections so they could make the city into their own image (which isn't very pretty, let me tell you)? Welp, the bullshit continues, and in order to skirt around campaign donation limits, the richest people in town have banded together to create a political action committee (PAC) to make sure Commissioner Rene Gonzalez becomes mayor. As we know, Gonzalez's primary accomplishment during his tenure as commish was to fuck up and/or throw sand into the gears of every positive, progressive idea—yes, including charter reform. So instead of being able to give $579 (which is the limit) to the Gonzalez campaign, his guardian angel and real estate mogul Jordan Schnitzer is donating a whopping $25,000 (!!) so Rene can successfully poop all over his competition with mailers and TV ads. (And Schnitzer's not the only one... some of the richest people in town, mostly from the world of real estate, are donating to this PAC as well, and have so far have filled his coffers with $70,000.) So whenever you see one of Gonzalez's mailers or TV ads, remember where allllll that money came from, and who it is intended to hurt. (Which includes democracy.) 'Paul McCartney Photographs 1963–64: Eyes of the Storm' provides the ultimate insider’s view of the cultural event that was Beatlemania.https://t.co/oOQ3KVVkIC — Portland Mercury 🗞 (@portlandmercury) September 17, 2024 • Closing arguments have been heard in the case of Kroger and Albertsons' proposed merger, and a federal judge here in Portland will be making the final judgement on whether the two behemoths can move forward with their plan to become the biggest grocery store chain in US history. While Kroger/Albertsons says the merger will help them compete against the Costcos and Walmarts of the world, the Federal Trade Commission disagrees saying it would hurt workers and give the stores the leverage they need to raise prices. • A woman in Northeast Portland was killed by a hit and run driver early this morning at Northeast 85th Ave and Fremont. Her body was discovered in the roadway and police are searching for the assailant.  A longtime couple finally admit their sexy fantasies... but can't carry them out! WHAT CAN BE DONE? Dan Savage and a guest expert sort it all out in this week's SAVAGE LOVE!https://t.co/k2S6eYuiT3 — Portland Mercury 🗞 (@portlandmercury) September 17, 2024 IN NATIONAL/WORLD NEWS: • Thousands of pagers used by militant group Hezbollah exploded yesterday in Lebanon killing 12 (including two children) and wounding nearly 300, and while they haven't claimed responsibility, Israel is being blamed for the attack. It's suspected that Israeli operatives intercepted the pagers somewhere in the supply chain and outfitted them with explosives. Pagers have become increasingly popular for members of Hezbollah who banned cellphones out of fear of being tracked by Israeli forces. (And this just in: There are new reports of even more explosions today across Lebanon, even as funerals take place for yesterday's dead.) The Federal Reserve is poised to cut interest rates this week for the first time in four years, putting an end to its longest cycle of rate hikes in roughly a decade.Here are some key ways the cuts will trickle down to businesses and consumers. https://t.co/Z3u1UnQ0lT — The Washington Post (@washingtonpost) September 18, 2024 • Sean "Diddy" Combs has been denied bail and will sit in a crappy Brooklyn jail until his sex trafficking trial begins. Combs, along with members of his staff, stand accused of “creating a criminal enterprise whose members and associates engaged in, and attempted to engage in, among other crimes, sex trafficking, forced labor, kidnapping, arson, bribery and obstruction of justice.” In an attached memo to the charges, the government says it interviewed 50 witnesses who document decades of alleged physical abuse (including kidnapping) by Combs against women. He has pleaded not guilty to the charges. • More bad news for Trump: 111 former Republican officials (which include ex-members of congress and national security) have thrown their support behind Kamala Harris, correctly pointing out that the convicted felon is “unfit to serve again as president.” How do you even discover you this talent pic.twitter.com/5ZaryuH3tC — Interesting As Fuck (@interesting_aIl) September 17, 2024 • RIP to singer/songwriter JD Souther, who wrote songs for the Eagles, Bob Seger, and Linda Ronstadt, and has died at the age of 78.  • And finally, it's Wednesday. Don't forget to stretch out! @puppysongs A REQUIREMENT 🐕 #fyp #puppysongs #bigstretch #dogs #dogsongs #marpup ♬ Big Stretch - Puppy Songs